I'm Heartbroken.

Publishing: Books and Magazines is no longer an available course at the University of Gloucestershire. It's gone. All of that careful planning and scrutiny, all of that upset and stress, all of that for nothing. This sucks serious ass. What a disappointment. Not on.

Problem Solving =]

So a problem has arisen with my A level options which might cause problems later on in University. For God's sake please change the record - I know I'm thinking ahead and that I haven't actually sat my GCSEs yet, but like the saying goes: prior planning and preparation prevents pish poor performance. At least I won't get a cold slap in the face for a wake up call and realise that everything I've done in my life has been a waste because nothing adds up. Yes, like Economics is a social science, Life is a social math. Those who can't work out probabilities of events occurring, sum up the consequences of their actions or arrange their priorities from highest to lowest are quite frankly screwed. I know that Elly's right, and that life isn't as difficult as people would have you believe, but if you want to be successful financially to be able to take time off in order to work on your dream, then I think that you need to get things right. You can't build a house on a shaky foundation and not be weary of disaster. I know that I've spent a lot of time explaining that I don't want to get things wrong now, but the more I write, the more of an insight you get into my mind. Yes, this is all stressful for now, but it's no way near as stressful as it would be if you hadn't the faintest idea as to what to do. This is a good kind of stressful, because you can always comfort yourself by reminding yourself that you can change your mind as much as possible as far as University is concerned, because you have two whole school years left to finish until your final decision is set in stone. You don't even need to go straight on to University, although I think it's best because then you won't be out of the habit of learning.

Basically, I wanted to take Psychology, Sociology, Biology and English Literature. Psychology to go on to Criminology; Sociology to go with Criminology as a back-up, plus I'm really good at it; Biology because I read in one of the prospectuses that you need two sciences, inc. Psychology, to do Psychology at degree level, plus it's my best science and most helpful; English Literature because English is my best subject and Mother has an English degree if I did happen to need any help or guidance. These have obviously been thought out and are strategic. Then we had our option sheets and to my absolute horror, Sociology and Biology clash (meaning their in the same column and therefore occur on the same periods every single week).

Now, this can be sorted out. My headteacher has to consider the needs of both Ysgol Tre-Gib and Pantecelyn as she's in charge of both schools, so if enough pupils take two subjects that clash, the clash can be sorted out via the subjects being rearranged. There are six columns, one of which is an after school column. There are three columns that I'm not using so hopefully something could be worked out and put in one of those. However, after a conversation that took place between Mother and the deputy head of my school, a surprisingly lovely and fair Griffiths-Jones, it turns out that out of the two schools, only one pupil selected both Sociology and Biology. What are the chances of that? Me - the only one. I feel like I've been thrown into the dark ages where if you're unique, you're ostracised. If anything around twenty people had selected the same two subjects as myself, then the clash could've been figured out. However, I was alone in my decision, and therefore nothing will be done. It's simply not worth it for one person, and although I am deeply upset, I understand. Why bother putting everyone else's options at risk for one person out of around two thousand? That person might become the richest and most successful person in the whole entire history of the world, and yet they never get their full potential achieved because it just didn't work out. That's just depressing though, that's why I think that people who believe in fate are happier (even though they tend to be lazier). What this means to me is that I need to compromise both emotionally and strategically, and to do this, I enlisted the help of Mother. (I've made her sound like some superhero, have I not?)

First off, we got out the sixth form time table and circled the two subjects that I'm definitely doing in red (Psychology and English Literature). Then, going through every single subject that wasn't in either of the used up columns, we circled the possibilities in green. In the end, I had six of these - Chemistry, Biology, Sociology, Math, Economics and Media Studies. Soon after, we discarded both Chemistry simply because I don't really enjoy Chemistry much - Sorry Lord Hammett. Plus, I think I lack the passion required.

Secondly, Mother gave them a 'difficulty rating', which was 1 - easy, 2 - difficult, 3 - very difficult and after writing up my four possible courses of action, we added up their scores. (We gave Economics a 2 because in the sixth form booklet, it says that the standard of maths required is at a basic level.) The end results were as followed:

#1: Psychology (3) + English Literature (2) + Biology (2) + Media Studies (1) = Hard (8)

#2: Psychology (3) + English Literature (2) + Sociology (1) + Economics (2) = Okay (8)

#3: Psychology (3) + English Literature (2) + Sociology (1) + Math (3) = Hardest (9)

#4: Psychology (3) + English Literature (2) + Sociology (1) + Media Studies (1) = Easiest (7)

#1 was branded Mother's choice, #2 was branded a good selection and Dad's choice, #3 was branded as the hardest and #4 was branded as the most enjoyable as they're all humanities, but Mother's choice for Publishing. We discarded #3 as it wouldn't help my mental state at all (if you don't know what I'm on about, please just gloss over my last blog entry), especially with the Math.

Pa came home and we showed him everything that we'd done. I then picked up the University of Gloucestershire's Undergraduate Prospectus for twenty-ten and looked at Criminology, then at Creative Writing (since it's a joint honours applicable to Criminology) and then Publishing: Books and Magazines (which is a joint honours applicable to Creative Writing). Now get this: Criminology requires 240 points only, Creative Writing requires 240 points and at least an AS in either English Language or English Literature, and Publishing: Books and Magazines requires 260 points. (Psychology, which I could've done with Criminology, requires 280 points and at least a C in GCSE Math. Sociology, which I also could've done with Criminology, requires 220 points from a minimum of two A levels.) I worked out the minimum of points that I expect to have and I'd have more than enough. I don't even need to do four. Mother spoke to the administrator and found out that they accept the Welsh Baccalaureate, which would give me 120 points if I pass it. Something else amazing about the University of Gloucestershire is that the courses I want to do are based in Cheltenham, which is one of my favourite places ever.

I know that you shouldn't let your parents decide what you're going to do for the rest of your life - I even explained this to Pa by saying that if he wanted me to be a doctor, then I'd do all the required stuff and go on to hang myself in University, and that it would all be his fault - however, having their support makes a big difference. Nobody was ever supportive of the Criminology track that I was going down, but now Pa is being extremely encouraging about the Publishing: Books and Magazines especially, and the fact that it's with Creative Writing leads Pa on to believe that it's absolutely perfect for me. He's highly concerned about my mental health though, reminding us about what the doctor said, which is nice.

So now I guess it's between Economics and Media Studies. Both of these have their advantages to Publishing: Books and Films, no matter what anybody says. I know that in Media Studies, I'd be stuck with a lot of drop out scum because it's one of 'those' subjects. If I did Media Studies though, I'd have a hell of a lot more points and it would be useful because it's to do with the business that I hope, wish and pray to enter. No, I don't want to be a news reader like my parents would like, and I don't want to be a news journalist, but I'd love to be a music journalist or reviewer. Obviously though, number one life ambition will always be to be an author that sells enough books to make a living off of it and is then enabled to stay at home, writing.

Just quickly to finish, I have become very annoyed at one of my friends and it is completely their fault. It seems that they're doing everything in their power to not only contradict me, but to make me not only doubt myself, but to doubt my decisions on things that I was certain and happy about. The latest two being what I eat and my decisions with my options. Everything here is well though out with both of my parents - I think we'd know if a subject was irrelevant, like Biology would be. I feel that I'll explode to them one day, like I did to Sara in the corridor when I screamed, "Why do you hate me so much?!" I won't tell you how they've put these doubts there because then they'll know exactly who they are, if they don't already. I'm trying to keep contained for now.

For now.

The Ten Hour Exam

The ten hour Art exam, sounds horrible right? It's probably the word exam that makes it sound so horrible - but when you're sat in a class full of clowns who won't shut up and are really entertaining, on top of someone making a random, dodgy-looking instrument behind you, you realise that this is nothing like it's meant to be and in no way does it need to be dreaded as much as you dreaded it moments before this realisation... (It looks like a long post, but it seriously shouldn't take too long.)

Part One - Tuesday March Ninth, Twenty-Ten.

I woke up earlier than usual to try to ensure a decent mood throughout the day. Since I'd be doing Art for the whole entire school day, I tied my hair up. This is me being practical, but it made me self-conscience about my raggedy ears. They were really cold and unhappy, they don't like being looked at. Anyway, on the bus I listened to my Jarvis playlist, which I had stuck in my head for the whole entire day (not that I'm complaining), and I didn't talk to Bitch Mouth because I told him not to talk to me this week due to stress and annoyance. I warned everyone not to mention the hair, but Lady Hammett did, which vexed me somewhat. She and I then went off to the ladies' lavatory to put my TNS machine on. I then made a quick appearance in form before zooming up to the ceramics room. I felt really sick at this point. Miss pointed at a seat, and I sat in the one opposite it because I like to see what everyone else is doing. Gopher sat in front of me, which was nice, but would've been nicer if I still fancied the pants off him (although he does have one of the prettiest smiles in the planet), Whore was next to me and Mr Sex Change was diagonal to me. I didn't mind this until half way through the fifth hour... Gopher and I picked up our stretched A2 paper and got our gouache out, I popped over to the sink to ensure that I had my two favourite paintbrushes, and I grabbed a paint lid (oh sorry, pallet) and a transparent plastic cup. I organized everything neatly and systematically - right angles staring up at me because I really can be THAT anal. Smooth wasn't there, he was in hospital.

It took me less than half an hour to draw the picture of Floss, the same picture that I posted in this blog before but bigger, and when I realised how quickly I'd done it, all the feeling of sickness subsided, I was going to be fine. I started painting the brown bits first, which brought me up to break time, then I painted all of the greys and background in the second hour, and did the second coat of those colours in the third hour. I had lunch, where Ashmlee Willie Winkie gave me a huge Aero bar (that I paid for) and he fetched me some milk (which I also paid for), and I saw Lady Hammett, Skank, Squidward and Kiwee for half a second. Ashmlee Willie Winkie and I walked around the school and sat down for a bit, it was sweet. I then made a second appearance in form and zoomed up to the ceramics room for my fourth and fifth hour. For the first of the two hours, I painted the black part. Then in the final hour of the first day, I painted a second coat on her. During this, I leant over the table facing Mr Sex Change. I was getting peeved because my tie kept touching the paint, so Mr Sex Change told me to take it off, which I did because it made a lot of sense. It was ten minutes until I realised that my boobs were practically out, and I was ever so embarrassed! I wanted to cry and run out of the exam... The thought of him seeing them repulsed me, and still does. I cleaned away, and then realised that I'd forgotten to paint a square inch maximum in the corner. I zoomed to the sink to soak my paintbrush, stole some of Mr Sex Change's gouache and painted it. I was really upset when I realised that I must've leant on her nose with black on my wrist, so there was a black smudge on her white nose. We all walked around then, perving on each other's work.

That was the end of the first day, and then I went Mother's Day shopping.

Part Two - Friday March Twelfth, Twenty-Ten.

Again, I woke up earlier and actually got out of bed at quarter past eight, as opposed to the usual twenty-five past eight. I did my face and tied my hair up (again) then caught the bus, listening to a mixture of Elliot Minor songs and The Smiths. I couldn't really be bothered to talk, so I walked Lady Hammett and Dorian to the music room and then zoomed to form. I went up to Art and was pretty chuffed when Smooth sat next to Gopher and diagonal to me. He was so entertaining, he spent most of the time glancing around the room for something more entertaining to distract him. Fair play though, his drawing was really good, even though it took him four hours to draw.

It again took me around half an hour to draw Santi with clouds in the background, then I painted the sky blue. Thankfully, it only needed one coat because it was so thick. I then painted the brown part of Santi. I stole Gopher's bright lime gouache and painted Santi's eyes. Then there was a break, where Lady Hammett, Ginger and I spoke about Smooth for about ten minutes. Meh walked past and I just remembered the whole Welsh thing. (I spoke to my teacher about it, and she said "I don't expect you to start dating or anything!" to which I gave myself away by turning my own special shade of crimson.) I then went back to Art and painted the grey parts of the clouds. I did the second coat of all of the colours, and then started on the first coat of black on him. Dinner time, everyone was in a weird mood (or it might've been me..?) so Ashmlee Willie Winkie and I sat in 'the cave', listening to his iPod whilst I scribbled some notes in my prep work in case my teacher collected the work in, which she didn't. When I got back to Art, I did the second coat of black and then tried to sort his eyes out. I did the same green as my Grandparents' upstairs bathroom for the majority of his eyes, and a mustard coloured line around his pupils. I then did the white dots that give the pictures life and added a darker tone of brown to the original ones, just to improve it. With an hour to spare, I fixed Floss' nose by painting it white and then re-doing Floss' unique brown smudge next to her nose. This cheered me up loads because I plan on keeping the picture forever. I want to hang it up. I am that proud of it!

So that was it. The feeling was bitter sweet to be honest. No more lessons to be missed but no more painful necks. It's all pros and cons I guess... When I got home, I listened to a mixture of The Smiths and We Are Scientists and fell asleep for two hours. When I woke up, I had a microwave pasta meal (as Mother and Testicles had chilli) and then went upstairs to watch some My So-Called Life - I'm on the third disk out of five, and about to start the fourth. I then had a mug of tea with a mini-roll and a brief conversation before buggering off upstairs again to carry on watching Jared Leto in the awesome mid-90s teen drama.

Peace Up, Peace Out!

x

Foundation Girl is Happy.

Monday was suppose to be my last day of freedom before the gruelling ten hour exam. For the first half of the day, I had a rather uneventful Art lesson, Business lesson and Critical Thinking lesson. Dinner time, I stretched paper. It sounds weird, and it is. You have to soak a piece of paper in the sink and put it on a board, flattening it out at the edges. You then get some gummed brown paper tape, soak it so that the gummed side turns into glue and place it all along the edges of the paper. It has to be half on the paper, half on the board. The idea of this is that the paper 'relaxes' but then can't go back to its original size because of the tape. It should be ready to use tomorrow. Should.

Life isn't all excitement and popcorn - I had one of my real Welsh oral exams. For this particular exam, there're only three variations of questions: organizing something, persuading someone, replying to an advert. I'd only really looked at the third variation because it's the easiest meaning I didn't need to learn anything in order to do alright in it. Lazy, I know. If you were a higher candidate doing foundation though, you'd be the same! Foundation relies heavily upon sentence structure, whilst higher relies heavily on vocabulary, which I could never learn. That's the case with second language at least, anyway... As I'm 'Foundation Girl', I was at the bottom of the list with the other three people doing foundation. Meh was at 14.50, Whore was at 15.00, I was at 15.10 and Flat Nose was at 15.20. This was all during RE which peeved me a bit as I look forward to sitting next to Meh, even though I can't talk to him. I felt sick, but not with nervous. No, I felt sick just waiting for her to do that disappointed face at me. That face always makes me want to throw up and cry at the same time. I was sat in RE alone, and then I left at around 15.08, I knew it would over-run and it had. Whore told me to go to the library, Meh was in there. I sat in there opposite my old form teacher, Miss Beard (now Mrs Morgan) and made small talk for about seventy-two seconds until we lapsed into silence. My Welsh teacher came and fetched me. I told her I felt sick and she told me that I shouldn't be nervous, but I obviously should. That threw me. It threw me so much that I forgot that I was feeling sick. She went through the questions with me, and then gave me a piece of paper to write my preparation notes on. I took the piece of paper from my pocket out and copied out the two sentences that I had to learn. (They were: Rydw i'n ffonio achos mae gen i ddiddordeb yn yr hysbyseb, which I actually did know, and Wela i chi cyn bo hir, which I didn't know that well.) I then went in and she explained that she was going to read out my candidate number (0001) and the instructions and then I should start. I didn't understand what she was saying when she spoke in Welsh, so there was around a ten second gap with me whispering "Do I start now?" That wasn't a great start. She spoke over me once, and then told me I was excellent and that she was relieved because she'd been waiting for my oral.

I scooted back to RE and Meh said that he'd chosen me to do the Welsh Group Oral with. This made me really happy, really embarrassed, and I wanted to explode. He then went on to say that I couldn't drag him down and he couldn't drag me down. I told him we could script it and he could have all the easy bits. I then told him I'd sacrifice my grades for him. Camel stared at us, and I freaked out, so he mocked me. I told him he looked like a camel, explaining that it was because of his long eyelashes and long face. He couldn't see how it was anything but an insult. He made me laugh, and then agreed that I looked like a chipmunk or a beaver. I was embarrassed, but still uber excited that I was going to be working with Meh in the future without looking like a stalker. I told Lady Hammett, and Skank, and Kiwee, and Ginger. I would've told Squidward, but he'd gone... Even Lady Hammett wasn't interested, but I didn't care because I was exploding all over the place with happiness! Then, when I got home, I made myself Carrot and Coriander soup, which I grated cheese into so it would melt in the microwave. NOMNOMNOM!

I still haven't finished my History essay, but I won't be in the lesson tomorrow because of the first half of my ten hour exam! Ha!

PostScript: [If you haven't had enough time to read my blog from yesterday, it's about a trip to England and going to see Alice in Wonderland with Lady Hammett and Cherry. You don't necessarily have to read it, or comment on it, but it would make me very happy indeed. I won't be posting again until Friday soonest!]

The Week Before HELL.

So Monday night, I'm home alone and therefore obviously on the one and only worthwhile social networking website for my particular age group - go on and try to guess what on Earth I'm talking about! Whilst clicking 'become a fan' of random statements that I agree with or find amusing, I get a phone call from Mother. She's decided we were to be going to the Cotswolds on Tuesday, the day of my mock Welsh oral. Does she know this? Hell no! Did I care? Not in the slightest (Y)

The most gutting part had to be that I pretty got up at the same time as I usually do. I hate when you don't have to go to school, but you get up the same time. It leaves you feeling hollow on the inside, thinking about the lie-in that you should be having as a reward for not going to school. I got up though and put on my skinniest pair (and therefore favourite pair) of black skinnies, my new AMAZING Nike shoes, my New Look 'Rockstar' long jumper, my turquoise American Apparel zip-up, my ancient New Look black jacket thing, a creamy zebra print head band and my favourite Chihuahua necklace from Eden. Whilst walking from the car park to a nomnomnom place, we passed a little wooden shop, so we went in there and bought this wall thing that looks like a house but is actually a key holder. It's cute. We then went to the gallery that we always go to and viewed menus in four different places, the first two had little choice but did offer pea soup so I would've been happy, the third was just in passing and the fourth was somewhere that we normally go, and Pa and I had homity pie (which I usually have in school). We then went browsing in random shops, like Oxfam, Fat Face and a button shop, before heading over to Cirencester cathedral. I sat in there like a vain pig, redoing my head band and eye liner, whilst Pa was in a weird mood and Mother walked around in awe, like she has done the last 1,000,000,000 times we've gone there. I just don't seem to care much for cathedrals or churches or any religious places to be honest. Mother still argues that I'm a Christian because I've been Christened - she refuses to listen when I prove her wrong with what my RE teacher told the class. Seriously though, I couldn't keep my eyes off these English guys! We then zoomed to Cardiff, which we didn't really want to do, but it was getting late and most places would be closed in Swansea by the time we arrived. We went to two Pizza Hut's and in the first, they were really rude, and in the second, they'd run out of dough but were very polite. We then went to Pizza Express, but it was freezing in there so we went to Zizzi's which we love anyway, and we were served by this not-so-bad-on-the-eyes guy called James, who we realised was gay as soon as he opened his mouth. Tsss... Not cool.

Here's a list of things that went on between Wednesday and Friday:

I had to explain my absence in History to Lady Hammett, I was called repulsive by Squidward, I text a group of people asking them if I was just to prove that I'm not, I was prioritised in the hugging department by Digby, I met my new doctor, I had a row from my Welsh teacher for not being in school when I had my mock Welsh oral, I received my report (which had a double Business page and no Physics page), I spoke a few sentences to Smooth without exploding, I lost it to a Virgo, I nearly died in PE, I was called 'Foundation Girl' in referral to Welsh by my friend who's turned really bitter to me about the whole thing and I had a review with the Headmaster. Oh, and yes I know I should call her a Headmistress, but words changing for sexism and racism has gone too far. Isn't it better to treat people the same and not give people different words based on their sex? Feminism can get screwed. Then to top it all off, Lady Hammett stayed over and we watched two episodes of The IT Crowd, one episode of The Mighty Boosh and Blades Of Glory. We went to bed at gone three in the morning.

Saturday morning, we were meant to catch the quarter past eight bus to Swansea, as I had arranged on Wednesday (the same day I was called repulsive), but then on Friday night Cherry text me to tell me that the Brynaman bus would arrive in Ammanford at twenty past eight and that she 'hadn't had time' to check the times. (It took me about three minutes to check all of the bus times on the internet in my Business lesson.) This seriously annoyed me, so we had to bum around Ammanford until ten to nine, which really wasn't cool. We then zoomed to Swansea, zoomed over to Vue, waited for it to open and then went in and bought our tickets. Lady Hammett bought a large popcorn for the two of us and told me I didn't have to pay her, but she only ate like, three handfuls. I ate it all basically! Ashmlee Willie Winkie was there, so I saw him for a bit, then we went straight in and watched the film, which I can't be arsed to review (because I like to review things properly and in depth). However, I will tell you that my favourite character is now the March Hare, and my ultimate favourite part of the film simply had to be: [booming Scottish accent] YOU'RE ALL LATE FOR TEA! I'm not even joking, I nearly wet my pants. Seriously, I love him! After that, we strolled around Swansea, visiting the Blue Banana, Claire's, Top Shop, the special pasty place (Cherry rated her pasty an eight, Lady Hammett rated her pasty a nine and I rated my pasty a ten), Derrik's Music, Hobo's and Eden. We then went to the Mad Cow (Lady Hammett had a Nutella milkshake whilst Cherry and I had Kinder Bueno milkshakes) and then met up with Cherry's friends Shaun (Crumple) and Amy. They're lovely! Even if Crumple is obsessed with someone that seriously hurt me without giving it any though, y'know Fag from a few posts ago? Yeah, well him. Amy was lovely and crazy, which is grand. Lady Hammett went quiet, but that's here prerogative so..? We saw Ashmlee Willie Winkie again, which was grand! We went to the Blue Banana twice more because Crumple is obsessed, but to make up, he bought us Subway cookies, so it's all cocaine baby! On the bus, Amy went sick (poor thing), I took loads of pictures of Lady Hammett doing hideous faces and Midget REALLY annoyed us. Oh, and for reasons I can't be bothered to explain, I was being called Simpson Girl by this guy called Chris. Cherry started saying that she was going to be killed because her mother wanted her home by seven, which she failed to tell us. Why do people have such shit organising skills? It turns out the next bus to Brynaman was quarter past eight, which is slightly ironic as that's the same time that I wanted to catch the bus this morning! When we got home, Lady Hammett told me that she's busy on the weekend of the seventeenth of March so I have to wait to see I Love You Phillip Morris, which I'm really upset about but understand. Plus, it turns out that Jeffree Star and BrokeNCYDE are coming to Sin City, so I'm hoping I can go to that! I fell asleep at around half nine, and went to bed at around eleven.

I have my Welsh oral exam tomorrow and I haven't revised at all. I've prioritised my ten hour Art exam which is this Tuesday and Friday. This I am not happy about. Another thing I'm not happy about is that I woke up at nine this morning, but only got out of bed at noon. Then this blog post took an hour to write, so that's four hours that could've been spent on Art gone. Stressed? Of course, but I'm not going to act like Squidward about it...

Cat Face (he's got a big cat's face)

I was talking to Ashley on MSN the other night, and he was watching loads of random videos on the internet. He was watching 'Cat Face' and was shocked that I hadn't ever watched them, so he sent me a link to the first one, and then I was addicted. I sent two of my friends, Lady and Lord Hammett, a link to one or two of them, but thought that it would be fun to actually post my favourite of all the eighteen episodes so far up on here. This is a link to the Cat Face playlist on YouTube by the creator, http://www.youtube.com/user/mrweebl#grid/user/2FB19AC500D06A6C. This video is Episode Ten, and it is amazing. However, I must warn you, it is about fecal matter! His accent is simply hilarious! Oh, and in completely unrelated news, with about half an hour of preparation, I scraped an 18/20 on my GCSE English oral, which is pretty darn dandy! xD

Art Attack, Heart Attack.

Monday morning means many things to many people, for us who attend Ysgol Tre-Gib, it means assembly. Lucy wasn't in school today, and neither was Guy, and these statements combined makes me think that it was because their bus didn't show up or it broke down. In assembly, we get split into boys and girls. Without Lucy, I only have Abi to keep me company. She happens to be talented and therefore was doing something with the orchestra. I was officially a loner, but so was Ashley, so I didn't feel so bad when he saw me.

First lesson was Art. Two people fainted; one being an unimportant, high cheek boned bitch who agrees with fox hunting and the other was the really pretty Angharad Dymond that I mentioned in my last post. Half an hour in and I'm having trouble with the white paint - it was blocked. I squeezed it and nothing came out, so I squeezed it as hard as I could. (It's hard to believe I'm in mostly top sets sometimes to be honest...) The lid flew off and the paint sprayed everywhere; on the top of my thigh, on the bottom of my jumper, on my face, in my hair, all over my hand, on my work and on Luke Gittins laptop. It was so embarrassing, and it looked so dodgy on my leg. Everyone laughed at me, although it was funny, so I don't think they were laughing at me much. Calum told me to control myself... The paint came off my face, Luke's laptop and my hand, but it sort of attained my trousers and top and it was in such a dodgy place! I think I've more or less finished the painting I was working on, so it's not all doom and gloom. Needless to say, I'm enjoying Art a lot more now.

Last lesson I had RE which meant a whole entire hour of sitting next to Meh. The paint was still there obviously, but I had hoped he wouldn't notice it. As soon as he came to sit in his seat next to me, he pointed at it and laughed. I pulled my 'not amused' face. He apologized and pretended to ignore me. We went through the RE exam, he had 52 out of 94 and I had 59 out of 94. We both had ridiculous answers though. For example, when asked to give two examples of how religious people react to God, Meh wrote (i) Pray and (ii) Celebrate, I wrote (i) Sacrifice things and (ii) Freak out at the all being, all knowing immortal. I got one mark out of four, he gone nothing. I won that round! Anyway, relentless teasing and patronizing resulted in me turning red two thirds of the way through the lesson. My personal best, I must add. He is so lovely. I sometimes just stare at him now. He's not even that nice looking, he's just so nice.

I can only think of five people that actually read this blog - Manny, Angus, Rhodri, Sam and Abi. Four out of five of those are boys, as you know, so I have to apologize about going on about boys. At least you get an insight into the female mind! xD

In Which I Miss My Abi...

My History buddy was auditioning for Wells today (and got in), and I had double History. So that's two hours of History without my right-hand man. Then Jayde (some flat nosed bitch) started having a fit behind me and Kieran and her trousers were making the most annoying scratching noise on the chair that I nearly flew across the table and punched her in the face. I did make myself giggle though, when I said to Kieran "In those days, rich people had balls." I found it highly amusing, Mr Moses' face didn't. Biology was hideous, Owen was throwing a Westlake because he apparently had a shitty result, even though it was higher than Guy's, Scot's and mine. I think it got him a grade B. I only had 50% and than got me a grade C. I had an E or a D in my last mock and without any revision, I got an A in the real GCSE exam. Therefore mocks are crap. Chemistry was boring; just copied Owen's GCSE practical exam results and Scot's GCSE practical exam results even though I haven't done it. They have no proof either way! Welsh was horrible. We had a substitute teacher, Owen (who by now was in a better mood) and I were having a laugh and Rhydian was being highly amusing. I had a huge slip up when George was nice to me and I shouted for him to Shut Up. Oops... Then at the end of the lesson, Calum asked if I had sunburn on my cheeks because I was blushing so much, and Owen said that it was because I'd spoken briefly to Meh (obviously Owen used his real name). Calum laughed and said that he understood, Meh's a powerful man and he has that effect on him. Calum had spent the whole lesson bullying my pen... Walking home feeling dizzy, sick and light-headed, I listened to Burn Halo. Then I made myslef a milkshake and downed half of it before it registered that the milk was gone off. That was just the tip of the ice berg. I went to bed at just gone 5pm and woke up at 7pm.

Speculation...

The topics in which I am going to discuss shall include both things with and without a pulse. The things with a pulse are Rhodri, Santi and a guy; the things without a pulse are my Chemistry and Art exam. I'll apologize in advance about the length of this post, but it is only five paragraphs (not including this brief introduction) and Abi will be chuffed because she's been name dropped a few times! (Bless her...) For some strange reason, I know you guys will read this anyway.

i. Rhodri.

I met Rhodri (Mr Abi Hammett) on Saturday. Abi stayed over on Friday and we watched a gay film, an extra from the Mighty Boosh and some Drew from So You Think You Can Dance. She then introduced me to the possibility of meeting her man and I wasn't sure if I was allowed by him, if I was going to feel like a spare limb or if it was really acceptable. After much deliberation, I went. Here's my final judgement - he's a tall, intelligent A-level student who has a twisted yet hilarious sense of humour and is very lucky to find someone like Abi. Overall, that's an appropriate judgement for one of my three best friend's man. I speculate that they should last a VERY long time, if not until one of them dies...

ii. Santi.

This isn't such a lovely topic. Santi is my cat and we've known him since he was born as he was born next door. We have a special bond that's hard to explain, but I value him like I would my child. The other day he appeared disheveled and was limping, he couldn't get up of down any surfaces. We just thought he'd caught his foot badly in Mary's cage since he sleeps in a basket on top of it. Then he wouldn't eat and slept far more than he usually does. He became withdrawn and started spending hours upon hours under my bed, refusing to come out to eat or use the litter. These, as I have researched, are all signs of depression in cats and can be caused by a change of mod or routine in the household/owner. Lately I've been depressed (at home) and have also been sleeping around twelve hours a day, so hopefully this will brush off once I'm back to my usual self. I speculate that he's depressed...

iii. Meh.

I think that only Abi knows who Meh is, but for those who don't, he's a guy that I really like. Last year, I freaked out whenever a desirable male spoke to me - I'd hide my face uncontrollably, tell them to shut up and make weird noises due to my awkward nature. This year I'm trying to stop that, and in RE today, I actually spoke to him for a bit. Then I started freaking out again and told him about how I was trying not to but he was making it hard by patronizing me and my art. He's lovely mind... I asked him if he remembered what I told him when we were waiting for our Oral exam and he said "What, that you can't talk to guys unless their ogres?" and I nodded. Then there was Charli who was chatting away to all the guys without a problem. She's been in a relationship for around fifteen months now, and she's so beautiful, yet she doesn't even seem dazed by really adorable guys talking to her. I'm envious in a completely new way! I reminded Meh that I sat next to him last year and he reminded me that I never spoke to him, to which I replied that he never spoke to me either. He said that he was shy because he didn't want me to think he was a freak, and I just pointed at my face and went "EH!" hinting that that's still the case with me. He told me I shouldn't be shy, but me being a girl has over thought this and now come up with a fairy tale in her head. I speculate that nothing will ever happen, because I'm simply not compatible with anybody that I like...

iv. Chemistry.

This morning, after forgetting my headphones and mirror, having nobody to talk to on the bus and then verbally abusing two of my three best friends, I had my Chemistry GCSE resit. To be honest, it was far easier than the first one and I'd finished it in around half the designated time. I then counted up the marks that I definitely had and I now know that i have at least 50% which is a good, solid base. The easiness of the exam left me in a better mood which meant my day was automatically better. I speculate that I did better than the C that I received in August...

v. Art.

After my exam I made my way to Art, where I received my exam paper. You get six weeks to do preparation work in a new book since, like in Business, it counts as a new unit, and then you have two days in which you have to make your final outcome in the maximum time of ten hours. There were thirty tasks and five themes to choose from, so I narrowed it down to two themes (Appearances and Precious), and one task (Hobbies and Pastimes). I then discussed it with Meh who didn't take Art, and we narrowed it down to just Precious, so that's my chosen theme. I have already done the front cover, written a rough copy of my brief and done the outline of a mindmap, so I think I'm already ahead a little bit and will therefore not fall behind. I'm not sure if I continue on forth with my theme until she's approved of it, so I'll talk to her again tomorrow. I'm chuffed I can work in an A4 book again, instead of the A3 ones. She said that if you miss one of the deadlines, your teacher will phone home or your parents workplace if they're not there. I speculate that I'll pass Art with a C and that my exam unit will be better than my previous two units...

Mocks (Plus Two Externals)

Okay... so this week's been all about exams, exams and even more exams. Some real, some mock, and some just tiny life tests. We'll be conformist and start with Monday, I wouldn't want to be responsible for any exploding heads out there!

Okay, so Monday I had my mock Welsh exam in the morning, in which I'm sat at a desk for two hours with an exam in front of me filled with words that I very rarely understand. However, in the time that I spent being bored, I wrote a monologue about a ginger. Good times. Next, I had my real AS resit of Critical Thinking. I wanted to do really well, but my mind wasn't up for any form of preparation so I just reminded myself that I'd already had a C in it and that if I failed it this time, I've still technically passed. The room was particularly freezing, but the invigilator was a bit dull and made a few mistakes: she told us that it's good to make mistakes in our mocks because then we won't make mistakes in the real deal, she let us keep our coats on even though we're not allowed under strict rules and she gave us our question paper but not our source paper, so the first question began with 'In paragraph 1, what is...' and we had no clue as to what it meant. For some reason, when I sat down to sit the exam, tears came to my face and I had to hold it in. I finished half an hour early and therefore think I failed properly this time.

After my twelve hours of sleep, I was downstairs at 7am and reading through my Rural Protest booklet for my History exam which I had that very morning. If you didn't realise, it's now Tuesday. History was horrible, just as I had expected it to be. (How some people have taken it further I have no idea.) Popular Protest (Henry Hunt, Radicals, etc...) was the compulsory section, and I chose to do the Merthyr Rising (Dic Penderin, etc...) instead of Rural Protest (Rebecca Riots) for no other reason than the questions looked easier. The Crime And Policing section was horrible though, and I completely failed it. I could've used my cripple time, but I chose not to because I had no idea what I was writing anyway. Next were Biology and Chemistry, which should've been easy apart from the fact that I hadn't been taught any of it. I guess I was meant to teach myself, but I go to school to learn and that's why the teachers get paid. The invigilator stopped the Biology exam five minutes too soon as well, which really irked a few of my friends. I was glad though - I'd done enough time sat on my arse being bored. I sat a different paper to them obviously, I'm not uber arrogant!

Next on the agenda was my Business exam, which was a real exam. I woke up early and wrote down some formulae that I might need to learn (Acid Test Ratio, Return on Capital Employed, Net Cash Flow, etc...), this would turn out to be a complete waste of time since they only asked one formula question and we only had to substitute the values. I got on the bus, after a fat girl at my bus stop was ranting about how she wishes the bus would break down on the way. I had to remind her that some people have to be in school anyway to sit real exams, so she should stop being selfish. Nevertheless she probably bitched about me to her other fat friend who use to be my 'friend'. We were the only school in Carmarthenshire that was open, and as soon as we all got off the bus, we were herded into the hall like sheep because it was snowing. Ashley sat by me and we spoke, this was a nice surprise that Abi missed. Obviously, the school decided that everyone should go home and the buses turned around and delivered the children to their designated stops. Except for us Business pupils. We had to sit in a near-empty school and sit the easiest exam known to man. There was even a mistake in the paper, which everyone across the country who was sitting the exam had to correct. It said '£700 per month', when it should've said '£700 per dress', and we had to comment on how it would effect the break-even. After that, Dad drove Jonathan home and then I had permission to nap in my parents bed. I was 'napping' for seven hours.

Today should've been horrible, but it wasn't. I woke up uber early after having a nightmare, then woke up uber late after going back to sleep. I had eight minutes to get from being naked in bed, to being fully presentable on the bus. I did my make-up in the bus station while fat girl and her little unfat sister watched. Ashley came over to talk to me again, which was lovely, and although I nearly died on the ice, I never actually capsized. Loads of people had their Biology resits, so I didn't have an exam in the morning since I had an A in that. In the afternoon, I had my calculator Math exam. I suck at the calculator paper, and although I had all day to revise, I didn't. It wasn't awful, but I did miss out a whole page. I'm in the middle of top set, so I'm hoping to at least scrape at least a C on that one. I'll justify myself with the non-calculator paper hopefully, but that's scheduled for next Tuesday.

Tomorrow I have Physics and RE, both forty-five minutes long, and then that's it until next week. I probably won't blog about tomorrow, as it looks like it's going to be pretty uneventful. I was going to add something about the Brown's latest newcomers, and no it's not a baby because that would be physically impossible. However, I won't bore you much longer. So that's it for now... Toodles! x

Universities

Earlier on, I was tidying my room and came across the three University prospectuses that Mother had sent off for me. (They're for the University of Gloustershire, the University of York and the University of Swansea.) Bored, I sat down and started browsing the contents pages of the courses and thinking about which ones interested me and would benefit me.

The University of York was the first one that I looked upon and to great disappointment. Yes, Psychology was in there, but only Psychology. No Clinical Psychology, no Occupational Psychology, and more importantly, no Criminal Psychology. You can only do Psychology, and it's not even a joint degree. It has amazing grades and is in the top ten schools for Psychology, but I'd honestly prefer to specialise. Y'know?

The University of Gloustershire was amazing. It had Psychology as a joint degree, and when it said the other available courses to go with it, it had Creative Writing, Criminology and Sociology. Now, one must admit when they have a skill (or a calling) and mine is writing, so being able to do Creative Writing is amazing. I'm amazingly interested in Criminology and I'm interested in and good at Sociology, so it's a win-win situation! Another bonus is that the University of Gloustershire has two campuses (one in Glouster and one in Cheltenham) and the campus for all of these courses is in Cheltenham... Cheltenham being one of my favourite places ever! Then, when I looked at the Creative Writing course itself, you could do that AND Publishing: Books and Magazines. So if I was to have a serious change of heart about being a Criminal Psychologist, I could simply do that. Yay!

The University of Swansea is somehwere that I don't really want to go, but for some reason Mother is desperate for me to go there whilst Dad is desperate for me to go to Oxford or Cambridge, but that's a different story. Anyway, Swansea offers Criminology, Sociology, Psychology and Zoology (which I'm interested in). Needless to say, I don't want to go there.

So yeah, I haven't even sat a majority of my GCSEs yet, but hey; I'M PREPARED!