My Position

So only three more exams to go until two months of freedom. Well, I say two months of freedom, I might be getting a job in some tiny old cafe that's always full of old people, but you know what I mean. I've had all the teachers sign my leaver's sheet, and I've had to re-do a part of my Welsh Baccalaureate because the school happened to lose a piece of it, but I've handed that in now. Today, in fact. Then I was sat in the car thinking, "It would be so cool to go out and meet up with people today..." but my phone's key pad has come unstuck and Sony Ericsson's are under warranty for two years. They didn't mention the fact that it keeps turning itself on and off though... That's the thing that gets my goat the most. The other day, I turned my phone off and I went in my bag to unplug my iPod before an exam and that's when I saw it. The screen flickered and showed me the 'turning on' screen, that probably has a real name but I've forgotten it. Anyway my new phone has a huge lack of contacts - at least a huge lack of contacts that I use, seeing as this phone is the one that I used in 2008. But if you didn't receive my facebook message, then I guess we won't be talking any time soon... I considered boring you with an exam update, but I'm going to give a brief one when they're all over. The last day will be Friday June Twenty-Fifth, Twenty-Ten. The same day that this amazing show comes back onto our screens:

Jumping From One Blog To Another...

So I am about to embark on the worst week of my life - tomorrow I have a Business exam and a Math exam, the next day I have an English exam, then I have two History exams followed by an English exam and on the last day, a Math exam. It's mainly the day of History I'm dreading, and the fatigue that I know I'm going to be suffering from even more so... However, this past week has been great. I met up with my sister, an old friend/ex I haven't seen for ages and a bunch of her delinquent drug taking friends who are actually really nice; I also dragged Abi along even though I knew she wouldn't like them, she promised that she'd try but nevermind. Of course, there was the whole thing of meeting me good ol' mate, Tim Minchin (pahaha) and of meeting up with William, Cerian, Shaun and Henry, as it turns out, to sell the harmonica. These were all very good days for me, but none beat yesterday night.

I was in one hell of a mood. I'd woken up in extreme pain, mainly in my spine, and my throat was bad too. Ashley was coming over, and although I wanted to cancel badly, I couldn't since I hadn't seen him since Tuesday morning and even then I hardly spoke to him. (The thought of society and their values has been depressing me lately, and he's had to suffer.) Mother had to find my machine for me, and we watched lots of Tv. I occasionally checked my facebook and formspring (like a real junkie does), and I had a message on the latter asking if I held grudges, and in my reply, I said "I like to get back with people I might've lost accidentally, there's one especially, but I won't push it." I wanted someone in particular to see, but I was scared of being ridiculed. Then, moments later, I received a text from this particular person. It simply said, "Hello?" I replied with the biggest smile on my face, but I was also anxious, anxious that this was a set up or was about to implode into a huge argument. I then got a phone call, and I looked at Ashley on the couch before screaming "I NEED TO TAKE THIS CALL!" and sprinting up the stairs.

This particular person's name? Matthew. Why was this call so important? Because we haven't spoken since August 21st and up until that point, he'd been my best friend, in fact, it was more than that... What happened? It's a long story that I'm not telling for the 100th time because that would be a bitch to programme! (pahaha! Sorry if you don't get it...)

Yes. Matthew came back to me. Just like Jarvis Cocker's song 'Baby's Coming Back To Me' (that's a link). Ages ago, Mother said that Katy Perry's song 'Thinking of You' made her think of me and Matthew, but that just meant that I couldn't listen to it for nine months... I could've had a baby in the time that we weren't in touch. It could've been known as Heartbreak Kid! *story idea* But yes... he phoned and I answered, and I broke down and asked if it was some kind of cruel joke. I mean, I knew a few things about what was going on in his life because my friend happens to be pretty good at being an investigator. I never thought we'd get back in touch though. Once off the phone, I spent the night texting him whilst being sat next to Ashley. Mother said it was rude but I didn't care. That night, I read over the texts from the event of August 21st 2009, and I came across one from Carys reading: "You've lost Joe, you've lost Matt, now you've lost me." As it turns out, I only lost her, and dude, I can so totally live with that. No problem.

The Ten Hour Exam

The ten hour Art exam, sounds horrible right? It's probably the word exam that makes it sound so horrible - but when you're sat in a class full of clowns who won't shut up and are really entertaining, on top of someone making a random, dodgy-looking instrument behind you, you realise that this is nothing like it's meant to be and in no way does it need to be dreaded as much as you dreaded it moments before this realisation... (It looks like a long post, but it seriously shouldn't take too long.)

Part One - Tuesday March Ninth, Twenty-Ten.

I woke up earlier than usual to try to ensure a decent mood throughout the day. Since I'd be doing Art for the whole entire school day, I tied my hair up. This is me being practical, but it made me self-conscience about my raggedy ears. They were really cold and unhappy, they don't like being looked at. Anyway, on the bus I listened to my Jarvis playlist, which I had stuck in my head for the whole entire day (not that I'm complaining), and I didn't talk to Bitch Mouth because I told him not to talk to me this week due to stress and annoyance. I warned everyone not to mention the hair, but Lady Hammett did, which vexed me somewhat. She and I then went off to the ladies' lavatory to put my TNS machine on. I then made a quick appearance in form before zooming up to the ceramics room. I felt really sick at this point. Miss pointed at a seat, and I sat in the one opposite it because I like to see what everyone else is doing. Gopher sat in front of me, which was nice, but would've been nicer if I still fancied the pants off him (although he does have one of the prettiest smiles in the planet), Whore was next to me and Mr Sex Change was diagonal to me. I didn't mind this until half way through the fifth hour... Gopher and I picked up our stretched A2 paper and got our gouache out, I popped over to the sink to ensure that I had my two favourite paintbrushes, and I grabbed a paint lid (oh sorry, pallet) and a transparent plastic cup. I organized everything neatly and systematically - right angles staring up at me because I really can be THAT anal. Smooth wasn't there, he was in hospital.

It took me less than half an hour to draw the picture of Floss, the same picture that I posted in this blog before but bigger, and when I realised how quickly I'd done it, all the feeling of sickness subsided, I was going to be fine. I started painting the brown bits first, which brought me up to break time, then I painted all of the greys and background in the second hour, and did the second coat of those colours in the third hour. I had lunch, where Ashmlee Willie Winkie gave me a huge Aero bar (that I paid for) and he fetched me some milk (which I also paid for), and I saw Lady Hammett, Skank, Squidward and Kiwee for half a second. Ashmlee Willie Winkie and I walked around the school and sat down for a bit, it was sweet. I then made a second appearance in form and zoomed up to the ceramics room for my fourth and fifth hour. For the first of the two hours, I painted the black part. Then in the final hour of the first day, I painted a second coat on her. During this, I leant over the table facing Mr Sex Change. I was getting peeved because my tie kept touching the paint, so Mr Sex Change told me to take it off, which I did because it made a lot of sense. It was ten minutes until I realised that my boobs were practically out, and I was ever so embarrassed! I wanted to cry and run out of the exam... The thought of him seeing them repulsed me, and still does. I cleaned away, and then realised that I'd forgotten to paint a square inch maximum in the corner. I zoomed to the sink to soak my paintbrush, stole some of Mr Sex Change's gouache and painted it. I was really upset when I realised that I must've leant on her nose with black on my wrist, so there was a black smudge on her white nose. We all walked around then, perving on each other's work.

That was the end of the first day, and then I went Mother's Day shopping.

Part Two - Friday March Twelfth, Twenty-Ten.

Again, I woke up earlier and actually got out of bed at quarter past eight, as opposed to the usual twenty-five past eight. I did my face and tied my hair up (again) then caught the bus, listening to a mixture of Elliot Minor songs and The Smiths. I couldn't really be bothered to talk, so I walked Lady Hammett and Dorian to the music room and then zoomed to form. I went up to Art and was pretty chuffed when Smooth sat next to Gopher and diagonal to me. He was so entertaining, he spent most of the time glancing around the room for something more entertaining to distract him. Fair play though, his drawing was really good, even though it took him four hours to draw.

It again took me around half an hour to draw Santi with clouds in the background, then I painted the sky blue. Thankfully, it only needed one coat because it was so thick. I then painted the brown part of Santi. I stole Gopher's bright lime gouache and painted Santi's eyes. Then there was a break, where Lady Hammett, Ginger and I spoke about Smooth for about ten minutes. Meh walked past and I just remembered the whole Welsh thing. (I spoke to my teacher about it, and she said "I don't expect you to start dating or anything!" to which I gave myself away by turning my own special shade of crimson.) I then went back to Art and painted the grey parts of the clouds. I did the second coat of all of the colours, and then started on the first coat of black on him. Dinner time, everyone was in a weird mood (or it might've been me..?) so Ashmlee Willie Winkie and I sat in 'the cave', listening to his iPod whilst I scribbled some notes in my prep work in case my teacher collected the work in, which she didn't. When I got back to Art, I did the second coat of black and then tried to sort his eyes out. I did the same green as my Grandparents' upstairs bathroom for the majority of his eyes, and a mustard coloured line around his pupils. I then did the white dots that give the pictures life and added a darker tone of brown to the original ones, just to improve it. With an hour to spare, I fixed Floss' nose by painting it white and then re-doing Floss' unique brown smudge next to her nose. This cheered me up loads because I plan on keeping the picture forever. I want to hang it up. I am that proud of it!

So that was it. The feeling was bitter sweet to be honest. No more lessons to be missed but no more painful necks. It's all pros and cons I guess... When I got home, I listened to a mixture of The Smiths and We Are Scientists and fell asleep for two hours. When I woke up, I had a microwave pasta meal (as Mother and Testicles had chilli) and then went upstairs to watch some My So-Called Life - I'm on the third disk out of five, and about to start the fourth. I then had a mug of tea with a mini-roll and a brief conversation before buggering off upstairs again to carry on watching Jared Leto in the awesome mid-90s teen drama.

Peace Up, Peace Out!

x

Foundation Girl is Happy.

Monday was suppose to be my last day of freedom before the gruelling ten hour exam. For the first half of the day, I had a rather uneventful Art lesson, Business lesson and Critical Thinking lesson. Dinner time, I stretched paper. It sounds weird, and it is. You have to soak a piece of paper in the sink and put it on a board, flattening it out at the edges. You then get some gummed brown paper tape, soak it so that the gummed side turns into glue and place it all along the edges of the paper. It has to be half on the paper, half on the board. The idea of this is that the paper 'relaxes' but then can't go back to its original size because of the tape. It should be ready to use tomorrow. Should.

Life isn't all excitement and popcorn - I had one of my real Welsh oral exams. For this particular exam, there're only three variations of questions: organizing something, persuading someone, replying to an advert. I'd only really looked at the third variation because it's the easiest meaning I didn't need to learn anything in order to do alright in it. Lazy, I know. If you were a higher candidate doing foundation though, you'd be the same! Foundation relies heavily upon sentence structure, whilst higher relies heavily on vocabulary, which I could never learn. That's the case with second language at least, anyway... As I'm 'Foundation Girl', I was at the bottom of the list with the other three people doing foundation. Meh was at 14.50, Whore was at 15.00, I was at 15.10 and Flat Nose was at 15.20. This was all during RE which peeved me a bit as I look forward to sitting next to Meh, even though I can't talk to him. I felt sick, but not with nervous. No, I felt sick just waiting for her to do that disappointed face at me. That face always makes me want to throw up and cry at the same time. I was sat in RE alone, and then I left at around 15.08, I knew it would over-run and it had. Whore told me to go to the library, Meh was in there. I sat in there opposite my old form teacher, Miss Beard (now Mrs Morgan) and made small talk for about seventy-two seconds until we lapsed into silence. My Welsh teacher came and fetched me. I told her I felt sick and she told me that I shouldn't be nervous, but I obviously should. That threw me. It threw me so much that I forgot that I was feeling sick. She went through the questions with me, and then gave me a piece of paper to write my preparation notes on. I took the piece of paper from my pocket out and copied out the two sentences that I had to learn. (They were: Rydw i'n ffonio achos mae gen i ddiddordeb yn yr hysbyseb, which I actually did know, and Wela i chi cyn bo hir, which I didn't know that well.) I then went in and she explained that she was going to read out my candidate number (0001) and the instructions and then I should start. I didn't understand what she was saying when she spoke in Welsh, so there was around a ten second gap with me whispering "Do I start now?" That wasn't a great start. She spoke over me once, and then told me I was excellent and that she was relieved because she'd been waiting for my oral.

I scooted back to RE and Meh said that he'd chosen me to do the Welsh Group Oral with. This made me really happy, really embarrassed, and I wanted to explode. He then went on to say that I couldn't drag him down and he couldn't drag me down. I told him we could script it and he could have all the easy bits. I then told him I'd sacrifice my grades for him. Camel stared at us, and I freaked out, so he mocked me. I told him he looked like a camel, explaining that it was because of his long eyelashes and long face. He couldn't see how it was anything but an insult. He made me laugh, and then agreed that I looked like a chipmunk or a beaver. I was embarrassed, but still uber excited that I was going to be working with Meh in the future without looking like a stalker. I told Lady Hammett, and Skank, and Kiwee, and Ginger. I would've told Squidward, but he'd gone... Even Lady Hammett wasn't interested, but I didn't care because I was exploding all over the place with happiness! Then, when I got home, I made myself Carrot and Coriander soup, which I grated cheese into so it would melt in the microwave. NOMNOMNOM!

I still haven't finished my History essay, but I won't be in the lesson tomorrow because of the first half of my ten hour exam! Ha!

PostScript: [If you haven't had enough time to read my blog from yesterday, it's about a trip to England and going to see Alice in Wonderland with Lady Hammett and Cherry. You don't necessarily have to read it, or comment on it, but it would make me very happy indeed. I won't be posting again until Friday soonest!]

The Week Before HELL.

So Monday night, I'm home alone and therefore obviously on the one and only worthwhile social networking website for my particular age group - go on and try to guess what on Earth I'm talking about! Whilst clicking 'become a fan' of random statements that I agree with or find amusing, I get a phone call from Mother. She's decided we were to be going to the Cotswolds on Tuesday, the day of my mock Welsh oral. Does she know this? Hell no! Did I care? Not in the slightest (Y)

The most gutting part had to be that I pretty got up at the same time as I usually do. I hate when you don't have to go to school, but you get up the same time. It leaves you feeling hollow on the inside, thinking about the lie-in that you should be having as a reward for not going to school. I got up though and put on my skinniest pair (and therefore favourite pair) of black skinnies, my new AMAZING Nike shoes, my New Look 'Rockstar' long jumper, my turquoise American Apparel zip-up, my ancient New Look black jacket thing, a creamy zebra print head band and my favourite Chihuahua necklace from Eden. Whilst walking from the car park to a nomnomnom place, we passed a little wooden shop, so we went in there and bought this wall thing that looks like a house but is actually a key holder. It's cute. We then went to the gallery that we always go to and viewed menus in four different places, the first two had little choice but did offer pea soup so I would've been happy, the third was just in passing and the fourth was somewhere that we normally go, and Pa and I had homity pie (which I usually have in school). We then went browsing in random shops, like Oxfam, Fat Face and a button shop, before heading over to Cirencester cathedral. I sat in there like a vain pig, redoing my head band and eye liner, whilst Pa was in a weird mood and Mother walked around in awe, like she has done the last 1,000,000,000 times we've gone there. I just don't seem to care much for cathedrals or churches or any religious places to be honest. Mother still argues that I'm a Christian because I've been Christened - she refuses to listen when I prove her wrong with what my RE teacher told the class. Seriously though, I couldn't keep my eyes off these English guys! We then zoomed to Cardiff, which we didn't really want to do, but it was getting late and most places would be closed in Swansea by the time we arrived. We went to two Pizza Hut's and in the first, they were really rude, and in the second, they'd run out of dough but were very polite. We then went to Pizza Express, but it was freezing in there so we went to Zizzi's which we love anyway, and we were served by this not-so-bad-on-the-eyes guy called James, who we realised was gay as soon as he opened his mouth. Tsss... Not cool.

Here's a list of things that went on between Wednesday and Friday:

I had to explain my absence in History to Lady Hammett, I was called repulsive by Squidward, I text a group of people asking them if I was just to prove that I'm not, I was prioritised in the hugging department by Digby, I met my new doctor, I had a row from my Welsh teacher for not being in school when I had my mock Welsh oral, I received my report (which had a double Business page and no Physics page), I spoke a few sentences to Smooth without exploding, I lost it to a Virgo, I nearly died in PE, I was called 'Foundation Girl' in referral to Welsh by my friend who's turned really bitter to me about the whole thing and I had a review with the Headmaster. Oh, and yes I know I should call her a Headmistress, but words changing for sexism and racism has gone too far. Isn't it better to treat people the same and not give people different words based on their sex? Feminism can get screwed. Then to top it all off, Lady Hammett stayed over and we watched two episodes of The IT Crowd, one episode of The Mighty Boosh and Blades Of Glory. We went to bed at gone three in the morning.

Saturday morning, we were meant to catch the quarter past eight bus to Swansea, as I had arranged on Wednesday (the same day I was called repulsive), but then on Friday night Cherry text me to tell me that the Brynaman bus would arrive in Ammanford at twenty past eight and that she 'hadn't had time' to check the times. (It took me about three minutes to check all of the bus times on the internet in my Business lesson.) This seriously annoyed me, so we had to bum around Ammanford until ten to nine, which really wasn't cool. We then zoomed to Swansea, zoomed over to Vue, waited for it to open and then went in and bought our tickets. Lady Hammett bought a large popcorn for the two of us and told me I didn't have to pay her, but she only ate like, three handfuls. I ate it all basically! Ashmlee Willie Winkie was there, so I saw him for a bit, then we went straight in and watched the film, which I can't be arsed to review (because I like to review things properly and in depth). However, I will tell you that my favourite character is now the March Hare, and my ultimate favourite part of the film simply had to be: [booming Scottish accent] YOU'RE ALL LATE FOR TEA! I'm not even joking, I nearly wet my pants. Seriously, I love him! After that, we strolled around Swansea, visiting the Blue Banana, Claire's, Top Shop, the special pasty place (Cherry rated her pasty an eight, Lady Hammett rated her pasty a nine and I rated my pasty a ten), Derrik's Music, Hobo's and Eden. We then went to the Mad Cow (Lady Hammett had a Nutella milkshake whilst Cherry and I had Kinder Bueno milkshakes) and then met up with Cherry's friends Shaun (Crumple) and Amy. They're lovely! Even if Crumple is obsessed with someone that seriously hurt me without giving it any though, y'know Fag from a few posts ago? Yeah, well him. Amy was lovely and crazy, which is grand. Lady Hammett went quiet, but that's here prerogative so..? We saw Ashmlee Willie Winkie again, which was grand! We went to the Blue Banana twice more because Crumple is obsessed, but to make up, he bought us Subway cookies, so it's all cocaine baby! On the bus, Amy went sick (poor thing), I took loads of pictures of Lady Hammett doing hideous faces and Midget REALLY annoyed us. Oh, and for reasons I can't be bothered to explain, I was being called Simpson Girl by this guy called Chris. Cherry started saying that she was going to be killed because her mother wanted her home by seven, which she failed to tell us. Why do people have such shit organising skills? It turns out the next bus to Brynaman was quarter past eight, which is slightly ironic as that's the same time that I wanted to catch the bus this morning! When we got home, Lady Hammett told me that she's busy on the weekend of the seventeenth of March so I have to wait to see I Love You Phillip Morris, which I'm really upset about but understand. Plus, it turns out that Jeffree Star and BrokeNCYDE are coming to Sin City, so I'm hoping I can go to that! I fell asleep at around half nine, and went to bed at around eleven.

I have my Welsh oral exam tomorrow and I haven't revised at all. I've prioritised my ten hour Art exam which is this Tuesday and Friday. This I am not happy about. Another thing I'm not happy about is that I woke up at nine this morning, but only got out of bed at noon. Then this blog post took an hour to write, so that's four hours that could've been spent on Art gone. Stressed? Of course, but I'm not going to act like Squidward about it...

Mocks (Plus Two Externals)

Okay... so this week's been all about exams, exams and even more exams. Some real, some mock, and some just tiny life tests. We'll be conformist and start with Monday, I wouldn't want to be responsible for any exploding heads out there!

Okay, so Monday I had my mock Welsh exam in the morning, in which I'm sat at a desk for two hours with an exam in front of me filled with words that I very rarely understand. However, in the time that I spent being bored, I wrote a monologue about a ginger. Good times. Next, I had my real AS resit of Critical Thinking. I wanted to do really well, but my mind wasn't up for any form of preparation so I just reminded myself that I'd already had a C in it and that if I failed it this time, I've still technically passed. The room was particularly freezing, but the invigilator was a bit dull and made a few mistakes: she told us that it's good to make mistakes in our mocks because then we won't make mistakes in the real deal, she let us keep our coats on even though we're not allowed under strict rules and she gave us our question paper but not our source paper, so the first question began with 'In paragraph 1, what is...' and we had no clue as to what it meant. For some reason, when I sat down to sit the exam, tears came to my face and I had to hold it in. I finished half an hour early and therefore think I failed properly this time.

After my twelve hours of sleep, I was downstairs at 7am and reading through my Rural Protest booklet for my History exam which I had that very morning. If you didn't realise, it's now Tuesday. History was horrible, just as I had expected it to be. (How some people have taken it further I have no idea.) Popular Protest (Henry Hunt, Radicals, etc...) was the compulsory section, and I chose to do the Merthyr Rising (Dic Penderin, etc...) instead of Rural Protest (Rebecca Riots) for no other reason than the questions looked easier. The Crime And Policing section was horrible though, and I completely failed it. I could've used my cripple time, but I chose not to because I had no idea what I was writing anyway. Next were Biology and Chemistry, which should've been easy apart from the fact that I hadn't been taught any of it. I guess I was meant to teach myself, but I go to school to learn and that's why the teachers get paid. The invigilator stopped the Biology exam five minutes too soon as well, which really irked a few of my friends. I was glad though - I'd done enough time sat on my arse being bored. I sat a different paper to them obviously, I'm not uber arrogant!

Next on the agenda was my Business exam, which was a real exam. I woke up early and wrote down some formulae that I might need to learn (Acid Test Ratio, Return on Capital Employed, Net Cash Flow, etc...), this would turn out to be a complete waste of time since they only asked one formula question and we only had to substitute the values. I got on the bus, after a fat girl at my bus stop was ranting about how she wishes the bus would break down on the way. I had to remind her that some people have to be in school anyway to sit real exams, so she should stop being selfish. Nevertheless she probably bitched about me to her other fat friend who use to be my 'friend'. We were the only school in Carmarthenshire that was open, and as soon as we all got off the bus, we were herded into the hall like sheep because it was snowing. Ashley sat by me and we spoke, this was a nice surprise that Abi missed. Obviously, the school decided that everyone should go home and the buses turned around and delivered the children to their designated stops. Except for us Business pupils. We had to sit in a near-empty school and sit the easiest exam known to man. There was even a mistake in the paper, which everyone across the country who was sitting the exam had to correct. It said '£700 per month', when it should've said '£700 per dress', and we had to comment on how it would effect the break-even. After that, Dad drove Jonathan home and then I had permission to nap in my parents bed. I was 'napping' for seven hours.

Today should've been horrible, but it wasn't. I woke up uber early after having a nightmare, then woke up uber late after going back to sleep. I had eight minutes to get from being naked in bed, to being fully presentable on the bus. I did my make-up in the bus station while fat girl and her little unfat sister watched. Ashley came over to talk to me again, which was lovely, and although I nearly died on the ice, I never actually capsized. Loads of people had their Biology resits, so I didn't have an exam in the morning since I had an A in that. In the afternoon, I had my calculator Math exam. I suck at the calculator paper, and although I had all day to revise, I didn't. It wasn't awful, but I did miss out a whole page. I'm in the middle of top set, so I'm hoping to at least scrape at least a C on that one. I'll justify myself with the non-calculator paper hopefully, but that's scheduled for next Tuesday.

Tomorrow I have Physics and RE, both forty-five minutes long, and then that's it until next week. I probably won't blog about tomorrow, as it looks like it's going to be pretty uneventful. I was going to add something about the Brown's latest newcomers, and no it's not a baby because that would be physically impossible. However, I won't bore you much longer. So that's it for now... Toodles! x