For What It's Worth...

Sorry about the title name. I couldn't think of a short or catchy title so I just stole the name of a Placebo song from their amazing new album. Seriously, I wasn't sure if I should buy it or not so I did because I love Brian Molko and it had good reviews in both Kerrang! and NME and you know what, I haven't regretted buying it at full price once. It was totally worth it!

Anyway, back to my original story for you all. It all began yesterday morning... *drifts and swirls into flashback...*

I was stood in Ammanford bus station at around 09.43 holding in my hand four plastic spoons, one low fat raspberry yogurt costing 32p and one hazelnut yogurt costing 50p. I'd been waiting for a bus for around fifteen minutes and I had expected Cerian to be sat on the bus that pulled up in front of me, but she wasn't and that just made me really confused. Everyone passed me to get on the bus whilst I looked around frantically. Then I saw her reflection wandering around looking confused, as usual. We quickly joined forced and jumped on the bus - I still can't believe that the price has gone up from £2.50 to £2.75, I remember when they were well cheap.

We started off going to Topshop and were shocked that a majority of the stuff was either £50 or £32, although a lot of the accessories were either £9 or £12, which isn't actually bad considering how good the stuff is and to be fair, Topshop has got good quality. Realising we're far too poor to shop there, we made a hasty retreat and went to Accessorize instead. Cerian bought a phone charm whilst telling me about her Alice in Wonderland themed Mad Hatter tea party that she's doing for her birthday in November, and I bought a bunny rabbit mask for £3 whilst falling in love with a keyring that I could've bought, but didn't because I already have so many and I don't have many keys to put them with. We then popped to Primark (shock shock horror, I know!) and then we both bought a pair of £1 sunglasses (Cerian has pink thick plastic frames and I have white thick plastic frames), and I bought a silky £3 red nightie. I looked for a corset, but could only find 'shapewear' ones, which start as a bra and go down to knicks, like what babies wear. Needless to say, I didn't get it. I have a corset now, but the bra part doesn't fit me so it doesn't boost me up. (There's a nice image for you!) We went to His Master's Voice then, and I bought Biffy Clyro's 'Singles 2001 - 2005' and 3oh!3's 'Want' and Cerian bought Katy Perry's amazing 'One of the Boys' (I want to be more like Katy Perry...).

We then popped to Schuh, and there was this well hot guy looking in our direction, shadowing us. I was looking at these amazing Nikes which cost £55, he could probably tell that I was going to buy them, but it was such a lot of money to spend in one go and I'd never bought shoes on my own. We went and bought some food (which ended up so insane and embarrassing that we had to make yet another hasty retreat), I got a text from Mother confirming that I should buy them and then we traipsed up to a hole in the wall to get £20 out of the bank. We took a quick detour to Derrik's Music (where I would love love love to work) and Hobo's, then went back to Schuh and to our horror, the same amazingly hot guy was shadowing us. I picked up the same pair of shoes that I'd been perving on for ages, and when I saw the guy approaching, I stared at the shoes wishing he'd walk past, and when he asked if we were okay, Cerian grabbed the shoe, shoved it in his direction and yelled, "Can we have this is in a size seven please?" He came back with two pair of shoes and said, "Hi, yeah. We don't have a size seven, but here's the size six and the size eight pair." Then I had the moment which I hate so much that it causes a lump in my throat and my face to go red; I had to try them on with the guy stood there. I clumsily and slowly tried the six on and declared them far too small, which I knew they'd be anyway. Then I tied the eights on and silently cursed myself the whole time because I could feel them watching me and I was having problems with putting them on. I said I'd buy them and he muttered something that both of us didn't hear before walking off whilst I struggled to put my Converse back on. Confused, Cerian and I strolled over to the counter and he walked past us and mumbled something else. We both nodded and smiled then looked at each other dazed, he could tell that we hadn't heard so he pointed at the counter and told us to go to the till. So like two obedient fangirls, we did. The woman lent over the counter and said "Nikes?" but I had no idea what she said because she pronounced it so that it rhymed with Mike, unlike when I pronounce it. I'm one of the idiots that say it so that it rhymes with Mickey you see. When she said it again, I went "Oh!" and nodded. I then paid and made a hasty retreat for the third time that day.

Cerian seemed to be in a weird mood that day, so I felt really bad because I'd spent so much money when she'd only had £12 for the whole trip. We caught the bus at 14.31 (which is super early) and it said it went from Swansea to Llandeilo through Ammanford which meant it also went through Llandybie, which is the name of the lifeless shit hole that I live. The bus got to Ammanford, everyone got off except for me, Cerian jumped on a bus which went straight to Brynaman and the bus driver said, "Where you going love?" I walked up to him and said, "Doesn't this bus still go to Llandeilo?" (I'm a typical woman see, I answer questions with questions.) The driver said, "No love, this bus goes straight back to Swansea. Where do you live?" I told him that I live in Llandybie and he typed up something on his pad before telling me, "The next bus to Llandybie goes from that stop in half an hour." I said thank you and made my fourth and final hasty retreat of the day. I did my coat up, put my hood up and put my Jarvis playlist on. (It's called that because he's amazing and the playlist is both his solo work and Pulp.) I had decided to walk because it takes me thirty to forty minutes to walk so it seemed pointless to wait that long for a bus.

The pavement was icy and I had a slight difficulty breathing, due to a mixture of asthma which only plays up when I haven't got my pump on me, the cold since it doesn't go well when you breathe through your mouth like I do and my paranoia about breathing really loudly so that everyone else can hear and I don't know because I'm listening to my iPod. Yes I know, that last one is weird and as a result, I hold my breath on the bus when we go over speed bumps. My favourite part of the walk was when I reached Bonllwyn and 'Big Julie' was playing. It's about some fat girl who is always alone and she's so moved by this one song that she's playing that she just stops caring and realizes the shallowness and hypocrisy of the world surrounding her. Seriously, YouTube 'Big Julie Jarvis Cocker' because it's such an uplifting sounding song, and the lyrics are uplifting too, you should Google them. You don't need to know the tune to appreciate how amazing a lyricist Jarvis is, his narratives are second to none, not even Ryan Ross could compete. I might post the lyrics up here one day... Just the way that the drums pick up in the chorus and you can feel it all build, it made me want to throw myself in front of a car whilst screaming in defiance, just like 'Tonight, Tonight' by The Smashing Pumpkins made me want to cry and scream, and 'This Charming Man' by The Smiths made me want to smash all the glass in the bus up whilst screaming. When you get a feeling as powerful as that, you know that song has changed you. Like Chuck Palahniuk's character Shannon McFarland from Invisible Monsters wrote: Nothing Of Me Is Original. I Am The Combined Effort Of Everybody I've Ever Known. I also passed Angharad Dymond who's in my form and is really pretty, she waved which made my insides feel happy. I like it when people acknowledge me outside school.

Nothing really happened after that though. I arrived safely, virginity intact! xD