For My Shareholders

Meh. Hello, Hey. Yeah good ta, yourself? Glad to hear, glad to hear. What's that? You want me to tell you why I freak out when I talk to you? Oh, don't worry about it. No seriously, you don't want to know. But it's embarrassing! Oh fine then. It's because I really have the hots for you and I know it's stupid because I don't know you much, and you're only in two of my classes; one of which you never even glance in my direction, and I would know because I'm always looking in yours. That is unless Obsessor has upset me, then I'm looking around for something to distract me because I don't want you to see me upset and then avoid me because you think I'm some self-harming, moping female. Only when you think of your RE lessons do you ever vaguely remember me, you don't even remember me when you walk straight past me in the corridor and leave me to stand there in a daze thinking about how you'll never remember me (unless it's for the wrong reasons) and you'll never be interested in me. I know, it's petty. Thinking of this now makes it impossible to think of you without becoming depressed. I don't even know why I like you...

Panda Pie. You know I like you. You always knew that I liked you, and you never liked me. There was a time once when I thought that you did have tiny feelings for you, but the fact that I know I'll never even kiss you (unless I meet you drunk in which I shall force myself upon you) is why I've decided you never have and never will. You're obviously just naturally flirtatious, or lovely, either way you have a following including myself. I remember when we use to kick the back of Chicken's Bum's chair, and she'd glare at us, then we'd just shrug and I'd laugh because I couldn't help but laugh and smile when I was near you. That's still the case really. When I saw you yesterday, I wanted to cry and attack you with hugs and tears. Remember when I started crying when you told me you were leaving and would never see me again? You must remember, you were really shocked that I cared that much and I think the penny dropped that I liked you. Yeah, well when I realised that I'd probably never see you again a year ago I cried, a lot. Pathetic, I know, but that's my style. Hearing that you'd been all over that dancer shattered any new hope I had. I can't even aspire to be anything like I'm guessing she was. I'm simply too me, too not your kind. This seems to be a recurring pattern in my thoughts, sorry.

Fag. I only met up with you once, and then you 'turned' and for some reason, I got really upset. No explanation really, just some hope being shattered so early on was painful to come to terms with. Then every time I saw you your smile faded, every time you spoke about me to my sister you apparently called me a 'stalker' and every time I looked at you your eyes darted away. I didn't do anything. You just didn't text back one day after you got back with your ex-boyfriend. Okay so I wrote a poem about it, and I cried about it every single time I went near Tesco. I think it was more confusion than general upset, although you do look exactly like the prettiest and most perfect girl ever to have graced a modelling programme.

Stoner. You've ruined every single relationship I've ever had. Who would guess that you'd have such an impact on my life! I was with you when I got drunk for the first time, you'd just finished with me when I started self-harming and I've cheated on loads of my boyfriends with you. I think it's important to state that it's not you that I believe I fell in love with, it's who you were. I know 'love' is a big word and I never use it with it's original meaning, but no other relationship has had such an impact and never have I ever felt the same way. I still can't resist you though. Hell, we were over and done with in 2007 so why am I so ridiculous?

Frog. You have the worst family in the local area. I know all about it and you know what? I never ever doubted that you were one of the loveliest people ever. You made me so happy when Tess had made me cry, and I even lied to my family to see you, but never did you kiss me. Was the timing not right or was I not pretty enough for you? Okay so we're quite different as far as civilisation is concerned, but I liked you and I wanted to kiss you. Now you're going out with Chicken's Bum. I can't help but compare her to me and it's actually quite insulting. I don't want to say it, but maybe I was a little bit out of your league in that maybe I was too smart or had too much ambition, because none of your friends are on a par and Chicken's Bum doesn't seem to be either. Still, I really like you, because you are lovely.