So lately I've been thinking about a few things; censorship, norms, values, elephants in rooms and why we're told not to do certain things...
Take for example, swearing. They're only words. They can be really offensive, true, but it's all about the context they're used in. People of an older generation say that people swear because they're not smart enough to use proper words. This is ridiculous. In fact, I can't think of many things more ridiculous. There are plenty of highly intelligent people who swear like sailors, the most well known example being Stephen Fry. I swear to add conviction to what I'm saying, to heighten emotion, to add passion. Yes there are incredibly stupid people that swear every other word, but they sound stupid and we shouldn't all be tarred with the same brush. There are more uses to swearing than simply offending and insulting. I've been a believer of this for many years, and it hasn't changed one bit. I still stick by it.
Now the controversial one. The elephant in the room. Our society's norms and values. What am I talking about? Things like proper drugs (as opposed to petty prescription drugs), self-harm and underage sex. These things are all evil, obviously. Just ask anyone that takes part in any of them and they'll tell you themselves. Right? Wrong! Why should we be dictated to about things that are good and bad. I know plenty of drug addicts (of course though, not many of them would consider themselves addicts) and they all seem happy enough. When things are taken in considerable amounts, then they can't be that harmful. Self-harm makes people feel good, and just because someone self-harms (be in with a sharp object or their fists) it doesn't mean they're suicidal. It's just like self-counselling, and if it's not overdone or done in reasonable, considerable amounts, then it can help restore someones emotion stability. True, it's an addiction, but it's not one that slowly creeps up to danger levels, it can be maintained. Underage sex is fine as long as it's done correctly and with some sort of thought before hand. Underage pregnancy is, in my opinion, skanky. Seriously, just wait until you have your GCSEs at least. My sister couldn't be bothered with school and was far too busy having (at the time) heterosexual sex, and now look at her. The only thing she can do in the RAF is be a cook. I do wonder how on Earth she managed to be thrown out if Graig in such a short space of time though!
Before I leave you with this, I would like to add that I wouldn't necessarily recommend any of these, but I would recommend that you take your life in your own hands. I overheard Pa talking about me to Mother before, and he said "She doesn't know what's best for her." Thinking of this always makes my blood boil. Nobody understands what goes on in my head. I go to say sorry, then say something sharp and cutting instead. That word is too hard. Only I truly know what I need.
February 17, 2010
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As I think you already know, I totally agree with you on the swearing thing. It's the emotion that lies behind the words, not the words themselves. You can't stop the emotion just by limiting vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how far I agree with you about the drugs and the self-harm, but having never had any real experience with either of them (apart from the odd keyboard bash, which does feel good :D), I can't really say much against them :). As for the under age sex thing, I think they should be allowed to do it if they want without some rich people in ties telling them not to. Screw them. XD
For me, the most annoying thing about parents is when they tell you what to do. But I guess they were told what to by their parents, so they're just getting revenge XD!
Sam
I wholeheartedly agree with you on the swearing topic.
ReplyDeleteOveruse is just a sign of stupitidy, but swearing colours your language, and emphasises your emotional state.
Coming from a Welsh-Welsh family, I swear in most sentences. But they're just the equivalents of "bugger", "damn", and "crap".
I don't use them EVERY OTHER WORD, like SOME classy specimens of humanity seem to.
Drugs I think are ok, as long as nowhere along their progression (from production to use) is anyone outside the loop harmed. I think if you want to risk killing yourself with drugs, it's your own damn business.
Just remember not to come crying to the NHS for treatment.
Self harm... Hmmm...
Here I disagree with you. But not ENTIRELY.
It IS a dangerous thing, because it can lead to a serious risk to your life, if even only accidentaly.
I have experience of self harm. More than anybody should. I can tell you that it ISN'T a thing ANYONE wants to do.
Because it CAN become a sort of addiction.
Personally, I like pain, which was kind of the reason I did it at times when there wasn't an external stimulus, e.g. high emotions.
It's bad though. That's all I'll say.
:L Underage sex... It's the same as my stance on drug usage. Do it if you want to, but be prepared for the worst. And don't go crying for help afterwards if and when it all goeas tits-up. xD
That winds me up too...
I have a mind which (generally...) works. I can make my own decisions. I am not so cognitively-incapacitated by being "just a stroppy teenager" that I don't know what's best for me, or that I don't know what I want to do. Acknowledgement of this, even infrequently, would be quite nice, to be honest.
However, some of the time, parents DO know better. You just have to put up with all the crap on all the other occasions. xD
Wow... This is like a blog by itself!! :D
xox
lol I agree that sometimes they do know best, but on this occasion it was about a boy and just because someone is from a God-awful family, it doesn't mean that they can't be one of the loveliness people you could ever meet. Oh well...
ReplyDeleteI have only ever given up three things: self-harm, eating corpse and guitar. My first experience of self-harm was with glass, and it was really painful, but eventually both me and my sister stopped. Then we had a night when we lapsed and we were happy again. After that, I just started hitting myself in the head with my fists and large books, I was too scared with walls! Then my eyes wouldn't stop rolling in my head, so I started hitting the wall, and now I think I've caused a hairline fracture because everytime I hit it on something, even in a half-joking way on a table screaming "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" it hurts like hell in the same place. I've been so depressed lately, and when I'm depressed I'm a complete arsehole.
So yesterday, I reduced Mother to tears and when Pa gave me an hour of an abusive lecture, I felt like crap. I went to my finger puppet and found the tiny razor that I stashed in there three years ago. I made five tiny slashes across the top of my thigh and they all drew blood (they came up as beads and it was actually quite pretty). Today, Mother told me I haven't been in such a good mood for ages. I have no urge to cut anymore, it has been quenched! It wasn't even that painful. I'm thinking it's the whole 'when you're told not to do something, you want to do it more' kind of thing. I think it works for me though, and I have made a promise to myself. No more than five cuts every month and they all have to be on the upper thigh. To do it on a visible part of your body is such an attention seeking thing to do...
Oh, and I'm not putting all of my shit on your shoulders. I'm perfectly happy! (Y)
x
Swearing, I avoid. However I am known to swear when I'm mainly excited about something (such as the time I got tickets to see Alice Cooper, but sadly that never went ahead for me...), but I never swear in the case where I'm trying to get an angry point across.
ReplyDeleteDrugs are fine. If it causes discomfort to a bystander, he or she can just walk away. Recently the ex of a good friend of mine decided to take it upon herself to try and get this guy clean. I and he told her where to take her drug crusade and to leave him alone. She did. Eventually, but not after she told me that I wasn't a true friend; letting him slowly destroy himself. That's not my problem, that's his. When he wants to go off the drugs, I'll support him, as I am now with what he wants to do.
Self harming to me is wrong on all accounts. It doesn't exactly say 'suicidal', but it does to me say that the person wants some help or attention (not in a bad way, although that's sometimes the case). Honestly, over hundreds of years of experience, bleeding someone/yourself has proven to always have negative effects.
Sex. When you're ready you're ready. Though it's quite weird to see 13 year old's doing it, that's why there's the 16 and over law... Babies should be left for when you're ready, mentally and physically, and even financially. 20s are best time to have them in my opinion.
It's a shame that women have to choose between careers and families though. Yes, you can have both, but if you want to raise your kids in a home that's loving and supporting then it's a lot better to have at least one parent constantly there for the child... If you're financially stable enough to have all the time off then twenties are the perfect age, but I'm thinking that if I want to attempt it (since Endometriosis is closely linked with infertility) then I'll wait until mid-thirties. Then I'll try to pen a novel in my free time! (Y)
ReplyDeleteI think counselling would work IF they weren't so hellbent on blaming the parents. Depression kind of comes with the family, both Tess and Mother suffer from it... I've had counselling from a counseller, teacher and nurse practitioner and to be honest, the counseller was the least helpful. I told her so too! I was so proud of myself... xD