No Smoke Without Fire ;)

Christ Bearer
excuse me sorry to be a pain and everything but i was just wondering can you write another blog please cos they are very interesting and they make me laugh :) Can I just ask why would you want to claw your face off and why do you have code names when people can just work them out? :)

Wisdom
The code names aren't secrets, they just make for better reading, make it more impersonal and less confusing as I know many people of the same name. I don't write on demand, and I know that a group of you are reading it so I know you're all probably getting kicks out of it. Sometimes, people feel things that they don't understand, or they feel things that they can't explain. If you're really interested in why people feel like hurting themselves then take Psychology, although it does seem rather difficult and challenging, and you have to be good at Math and English to do it... x

Green Gemstone
Im fucking doing psychology next year so its not too difficult thank you very much. And ahaha yeah i get a kick out of it cos im laughing my head about ur pathetic life and how im glad im nothing like you.

Christ Bearer
I find tht using code names is rather pathetic and childish :) I also think that laughing at Jayde when she has fits/ panick attacks is rather sick and I honestly think you have a sick mind. If you ever experience what Jaydes had to go through, and I see you experience it I will laugh at you :)

Wisdom
I didn't say it was too difficult, I said it seemed rather difficult and the 0% pass rate is what led me to that conclusion. Plus in some ways, you are like me. We all turn in to things that we hate eventually. They seem to take priority. Plus, it's rather childish for you to read and laugh at someone else's feelings.
And I think that it's rather pathetic and childish that you've bothered to read so much of my pathetic life. You must be interested to lend that much time to it. I know I have a sick mind, that's why I want to do criminology - my mind is most productive when reading, writing or watching things about murder, rape, torture, whatever. Interest is healthy, I wouldn't actually commit any of it. Jayde's fits were interesting, and I bet that her doctor was interested, just like my doctor was about my fits.
So really, we're all a bunch of hypocrites (Y) Oh dear... x

Christ Bearer
Well I just wanted to see really what I had been told about your blog. I found it stupid that you used little names because we've figured them out. I also disagree that Jayde is a flat nosed bitch to be quite honest as she isn't she's actually one of the most prettiest girls I've come across. Your clearly not happy with the way you look, because if you were you wouldn't need to slate other people in such silly ways. And can I ask, do you honestly think your a cat?

Green Gemstone
I read it because i wanted to see what loads of people were talking about to be honest. No i completely disagree, you can find something interesting without laughing and making horrible comments about it and actually letting everyone know, ever thought about how that would make me feel? No course you didnt because you dont care about anyone elses feelings. And im not like you i changed to be nothing like you and i am not a hypocrite so dont even start with that. And by the way i was laughing because it was either laugh or cry.

Wisdom
Right right... I'm actually quite happy with the way I look, just because you comment upon somebody else doesn't mean you're not happy. Looks are like fashion, comment away. Like I said, the names aren't there to be secretive.
I do care about other people's feelings, just not people that don't like me. Only five to ten people read the blog, and only two to three of those people know you, so it's not humiliating, and it doesn't have your name, so they can't find you and mock you. If I say it's black, you say it's white; if I say it's spotty, you say it's stripped; if I call you a hypocrite you say you're not.
Simple as.
x

Christ Bearer
Well you can't be if you wanna look like a cat :| For some weird reason. And can I ask why did you want to punch Jayde when she was having a fit?

Green Gemstone
You are meant to care about everyones feelings, not just the people who like you. I haven't done anything to you and yet you call me 'a flat nosed bitch', what the hell? and okay i get it use code names i don't care but why spiteful ones? That's the perfect way to get enemies and to get these sort of conversations right here. I don't care about how many people read your blogs, it doesn't mean you should tell anyone about my panic attakcs (or fits as you put them) it's certainly not your place to.
No, I don't just say everything against what you say, you don't even know me so you can't exactly say i'm a hyprocrite.

Wisdom
The noise was doing my head in...
You can't tell me what we as humans are meant to do, because nobody knows. If somebody did, then they would know the meaning of life. Why waste your time caring about people that don't care about you? That's ridiculous. Why treat them the same as people who care for you. That would mean that people could treat you like crap and be treated the same as people who loved you. You have done things to me, and I've done things to you. It's just not convenient for you to remember. How are the names spiteful? I like writing, it's therapeutic. If I don't, I get upset and have my own special fits that I do laugh about, even though they suck. Trust me, I can say your a hypocrite. Whether or not anyone wants to believe it, we all are at some point. x

Green Gemstone
I don't care! That's just horrible.
And ok whatever but I treat people the way they treat me. And you never know if you tried it sometime you might have more people that care about you and not have as many enemies and people who just want you dead like you do now.
And the names are spiteful because you dont know many of the people you call names to and you are just saying them to get your own back on someone who hasn't done fuck all to you!
I only done stuff to you as a retaliation and nothing else.

Protector
Okay, I've not actually said anything to you on this, at least. And since I've never directly done anything to cause you any kind of physical or mental distress. I'd quite like to know what the reason is for my delightful 'codename'.

Wisdom
You know what, believe what you want. I obviously can't change your mind, but let me just say this: You're telling me that I shouldn't give people little names because I don't know them, and then you're telling me why I'm doing these things when you don't know me. You're actions don't match your words - you're being hypocritical. All you do is bitch about everyone, and I know that you do because you bitched to me about people in Sociology and History, and then you bitched about me behind my back. Stop with the bull shit advice and practise what you preach. Then you might earn some respect.

Christ Bearer
I don' bitch I'm to nice to bitch :D Ahahaa.

Wisdom
I read your blog, and that's the impression I got. Oh, and the way that you act in lessons, with the guys and just your presentation of yourself. Anyway, the names aren't all down to me. They're a group decision so we know who we're talking about.

But I do appreciate that you haven't ranted and raved =)

Christ Bearer
Ahaa. I love her presentation of herself :) it's laash tbh, and don't you think if she was a whore she'd have slept with someone...?

Wisdom
Rhetorical question, right? xD
We obviously have different opinions. We value different things and have two completely opposite personalities. So I don't care if you agree with the names or not. It's my blog, I shall write what I want.

Christ Bearer
Even if your hurting peoples feelings?

Green Gemstone
Oh says you who hasnt got anyones respect what so fucking ever and i bitched about people to you because you did the same thing and i was just following you for god knows why. And you can think what you want all i ask is for you not to share it with the world, there is no need to mention me or my friends in ur blogs we have nothing to do you and will never see you again in 2 months time. Thats all i ask and to be honest i dont want to even have these conversations with you now.

Wisdom
What you don't know can't hurt you; sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me; out of sight, out of mind... Take your pick. They all apply. x

Christ Bearer
Well words do hurt actually and I bet they hurt Jayde when you said you wanted to punch her in the face and laugh at her when she was having a panic attack.

Wisdom
People know what I say about them though. I'm not a secretive person, I like to be open as much as possible. You feature in my life right now, and my blog is about my life, so it would make sense to include you and if you don't read into it too much, then I haven't really mentioned you. Just some people with little names.
You could always just not type back..?

Green Gemstone

Yeah to that saying i say bullshit! Words kill and you may not think so but they bloody well do.

Wisdom
Oh dear. Maybe she should keep her nose out of things that aren't her business? And if you twist that to be her business then I'll laugh and applause you, because it's really not.

Christ Bearer
Don't you mean flat nose? ^o)

Wisdom
Curiosity killed the cat. You shouldn't have looked.

Christ Bearer
Why shouldn't I have looked?

Wisdom

Seeing as you agree then yes, yes I do =)
That was a reply to Flat Nose (as you'd like me to now call her). But you also shouldn't have looked if you were going to make a fuss.

Christ Bearer
No I don't agree actually I think she's got a perfect nose but I'm surprised you didn't say it, considering that is what you say. Which is kinda pathetic don't you think?

Green Gemstone
Glad that nickname is catching on! And who are you talking about?

Wisdom
Not really. I'd hate to be tactless and call people by their names because to strangers, the names mean nothing. It's impersonal. Blogging is like creative writing, not everyday writing.
You'll have to be more specific.

Green Gemstone
No because im not in ur life, i have nothing to do with you. You are dead to me and im going to keep it that way. Goodbye Sophie have a lovely and lonely life.

Wisdom
You are in my life. You're like an extra, floating in the background.

Christ Bearer
I like this Jayde =) Sophie you have changed a lot, you were a tidy person in year 7 what happened I don't know. Ohh well seems like you changed for the worst. Good Night.

Wisdom
I liked you in Year Seven too, but now I just see how everybody lacks ambition and I don't care if I sound snobbish, but I now think that you lot are below me. The way you all gang up on tiny things and try to take the higher ground. The way you don't care much for education or intelligence, or at least that's how it seems. So what happened to me is that I realised the people that I'd prefer to associate with, and you didn't make the cut.

Green Gemstone
Shame it has to end now Krissie, im not spending anymore time talking to her when i really cant wait until i never get to see or hear her ever again in less then 2 months. Goodnight hunni xx

Wisdom
*sits in the corner, not thinking it's a shame at all*
Please stop clogging up my inbox now. If you're going to send each other little sarcastic comments, do it in your own time, in your own space. Diolch =)

Green Gemstone
Urm no im alright thanks ill do it where i want cheers. Sweet dreams Sophie hope you claw ur face off.

Wisdom
I haven't got the claws out tonight babes, maybe tomorrow..? I'll video it just for you, okay? I'd HATE to disappoint! ♥

Green Gemstone
Dont call me babes sorry as you said to me you dont quite make the cut to call me that. And good i would hate to miss it.

Wisdom
So you'd hate to miss me clawing my face off, but it's not right for me to laugh at your freaky fits? Right right... I get it now, that makes sense! xD

Christ Bearer
I'd only like to see you claw your face off after you said you'd laugh about it...duhhh

Wisdom
But you didn't say that you'd like to see me claw my face off, Jayde did.

Green Gemstone
Im just retaliating Sophie i couldnt give a shit about you clawing ur face off.

Christ Bearer
I haven't said it to you =)

Wisdom
I thought you said that you didn't want to have this conversation anymore. Most wars happen due to retaliation. Maybe you should learn to stop and think? I do, and I'm quite happy with all of my actions =)
So why're you mentioning it. It's irrelevant.

Green Gemstone
Theres no fucking way im letting you have the last word in this conversation, you will see it as a win or something. No i dont need to stop and think thanks im doing just fine.

Wisdom
Well then we're going to be here a long time, and now that you've said that as if it's a challenge, if I log off first, I'll just message back tomorrow, and then you'll never get me out of your life through spite.

Green Gemstone
Ahaha oh trust me this is just something to laugh about with my friends who also hate you and trust me this doesnt mean ur part of my life.

Wisdom
Obviously, because you're not spending any time or thought in replying to me. Even if I just take up a minute of your day, I'm a feature. I suppose it's fair to mention that this is something that I'm getting a kick out of with my friends also... =)

Christ Bearer
You have friends..? By the way Abi doesn't count as more than one =) And what would your boyfriend say if he knew you were like in love with someone else?

Wisdom

Hey hey, what have you got against Abi? Is it the fact that she's been in a relationship for just under a year, has really good grades or has a talent? =)

Green Gemstone
fuck it you can have the last word im not going to spend anymore time and energy on you. Just knowing that im going to live a happy life is enough for me.

Wisdom
(Y)

Christ Bearer
Didn't say anything offensive about Abi then did I? No think not. I'm happy with my life so why would I want anything she has? And you haven't answered my question what would your boyfriend say if he knew you were in love with some other guy?

Wisdom
He doesn't speak much anyway, but we're close and my parents treat him like one of their own, so I don't think it would make much of an impact. Plus Love is an extreme word to use! xD
Face it, by mentioning Abi, you sunk to my level =) Now take your friend's lead and leave me be..? x

Christ Bearer
Still don't think he'd be happy (Y) No I would never sink as low as to write a blog about people I hardly know and then right crap about then (Y)

Wisdom
Well I like to write and it's what I'm good at, so I can write what I like and just put it down to practise. With my 'No Less Than A*' pass rate in English, I think it's working.

Christ Bearer
Bragging about grades much..

Wisdom
At least it's something to brag about, and it strengthens an otherwise weak argument. Therefore it was necessary imput (Y)

Green Gemstone
Hang on a minute Kristina has a hell of alot to brag about but she doesnt because shes not not stuck up like you. Just leave us be and fuck off out of our lives. Krissie shes not worth speaking to, let her live her pathetic life.

Wisdom
Remember this: You all came to me so technically, you can leave me be.

Christ Bearer
Thank you Jayde =) And one last thing Sophie, go claw your face off x)

Wisdom
*meow*

Another Short One, Sorry.

Quick update on the Meh situation. In Welsh, I can't breath or talk, then I cry afterwards and at home. In RE, I spoke back and had a laugh with him, childish stuff, but stuff nevertheless! I kept on staring at him when he wasn't looking, he's so lovely. I was sort of upset since I'd be missing Welsh the next day and although I hate it when I'm there, I sort of love being near him. So... I guess it's all just a tad bit bitter-sweet. I was missing it because I had a hospital appointment to have my final check-up on my jaw situation. It's all cocaine baby. There should be no future problems with that little bugger. I then fell asleep in the car for around two hours whilst the rents shopped. It turns out that it's cheaper to 'top-up' rather than to do big fortnightly shops. I've been waking up with massive dizziness and headaches lately, and this week I'm going to concentrate on finishing my Key Skills and Welsh Baccalaureate. According to the school, I only have to do the ICT part, which I deleted off the computer so I'm a tad bit screwed. I haven't done bits and pieces all over the place, but they've decided to ignore that. Thank God! I don't plan on all of my blog posts being this short in future, but if it doesn't feel necessary to write loads then I wont. There's no point forcing something if it's just not right after all, oh and well done if you can spot the stolen lyrics! Just to add, anybody else a little bit addicted to Pineapple Dance Studio?

Great Understanding There... -.-

Yesterday night, just after we all sorted out the new dining room chairs (we now have two pale green ones and four deep pink ones to go with the colour scheme of the kitchen) and took the old ones out to The Sanctuary, Dad was telling me how pretty I was and I broke down crying. I was depressed and on the verge anyway, but when he focused everyone's attention on me, everyone being himself, Mother and Ashmlee Willie Winkie, then I just skydived off the edge. For the last few days, the urge to sink my nails into my cheeks and just rip my face off, making huge claw-like scars down both sides of my face, has been my constant companion. Y'know, one of those people that just tag along and you can't tell them to leave because then they stay with you but in a retched mood that you simply can't ignore? Yeah, well I mean companion in that sense. Anyway, I told Mother for no apparent reason, and a few moments later, Pa stormed in my bedroom and said, nastily, "Go downstairs, and convince your mother that you don't want to claw your face off and that you don't want to kill myself." So I went downstairs, sighed, and said "I don't want to claw my face off and I really don't want to kill myself." Hell, I'd never even mentioned suicide! Assumption or what? I only agree with suicide when it's people like Hitler who REALLY have no way out! Anyway, that sort of did my head in because it's like when I told Mother that I punched myself in the head before, she just cried and never mentioned it ever again. It's sort of the whole 'out of sight, out of mind' thing, but it's driving me crazy. I'm so frustrated. I told Mother about the Meh thing and she was nice about it, probably because it proves that I'm not a lesbian like Tess, but Pa was seriously not understanding one bit. He's all like, "Well it sounds to me like you're being unfaithful in your actions!" Ha! Like I have a chance to be unfaithful, it is Meh we're talking about. There's really no hope. Oh, and I found out I'm allergic to popcorn. I can now add this to my list of allergies, which now consists of two things: hospital plasters and popcorn. Woop! x

Why Can't I Work Around You?

I know that I don't usually write two blog posts this close together, because it makes it less likely for the person to read the previous one (plus I just un-subscribed to somebody because they blogged every day and clogged up my reading list). However, I need to relieve myself from this anger, embarrassment and depression, so I'm going to blog it out.

Last night I spoke to Meh on facebook chat for ages. I thought this would prepare me, although saying that, it did take me an hour to build up enough confidence to even type 'Hello..?' to him. The conversation left me really happy, like when I sit next to him in class. I spoke to Smooth briefly and one of the two people that read this blog 'might have said something' to him, which is embarrassing. Last lesson and I have to sit next to him, but I can't choose a seat and he's making me choose, so I self-conbust and turn bright red. He chooses a seat, eventually. Then we just sit there, and we don't say anything, but when he does I laugh and giggle and feel like crying. Thankfully I don't, but I nearly did on the bus. He looks at me and I try to do my serious face but I nearly wet myself in excitement when he looks at me. Seriously, he's lovely. I wanted to talk, but I couldn't without looking like an idiot. I think Miss realised what was going on, as she kept on looking and I think she tried to save me. It's a shame that nothing can save me. Not only does he make me feel stupid, he makes me feel ugly and insignificant. I know I'm not, but I morph when I'm around him. (Lord Hammett, remember how I was with Digby? Yeah, well this is FAR worse!) It's not on. Chapstick kept on swivelling in her chair and talking to him in ease, I was so jealous. She's so pretty. Urgh. I wish I could be that effortless. Hell, I wish he would like me. I spoke to Sailor on the bus and he told me that Meh had been telling him about it. He assured me that he wasn't being mean, he was laughing. This was upsetting in a way, I'm not a joke. I hope Thursday goes better, because I hate my on personal counselling. This can't go too far, like it did with Stoner. I hate hating myself, so why does everyone put me through it?

Oh, and Lady Hammett - I missed you today. x

The Day Of Being Not Impressed

The Start Of The Day:~ Today is a Monday, meaning two things: I have to wake up for school and Glee's on tonight. The first didn't apply today though, as I had one of my special appointments with the child's joint specialist, Dr S. Fountain-Polley. I forgot to turn my alarm off for school, so it started going off at 07.29, then 07.43, then 07.57, then 08.01 and finally at 08.15. Yes, this is what is necessary to get me up on a school morning. Needless to say, I was not impressed. Then I had to do my make-up in the car, which is fine apart from the fact that I'd forgotten to pack my compact so I had to use the reflection off my iPod. The car stopped. The mascara went in my eye. The eye was not impressed.

The Appointment:~ Mother told Pa and I that she thinks Dr S. Fountain-Polley hates her and that he hints. To be fair, she does boast about me a lot (and compared to some people I know, there's nothing to boast about) and she doesn't give me a chance to talk when I'm in there. Hence the reason I smiled on the inside when she spoke to my new GP on my behalf and he replied with, "Has she lost her voice then?" I've grown one centimetre, lost point one of a kilogram. I'll have to weigh myself naked again to see if this is true! I'm not being referred to a pain clinic any more, I was warned that they just give you anti-depressants (which I didn't think would be too bad for me) and that they make you tired, which would mean I'd probably sleep for a majority of the day. Anyway, I didn't know how to get up on the bed thing in the room, and Mother explained that I was at that age when everything is embarrassing. Dr S. Fountain-Polley replied with, "Yeah, especially Mothers..." to which she was not impressed.

The X-Ray:~ He then said that since we were already there, I might as well have the x-ray then and there, so he wrote up a slip and we went off to have a lower back x-ray to see if I could have spondylosis or spondylitis. When we got there, I realised with horror that I'd have to take my clothes off apart from my panties and shoes. To add to my humiliation, I had to wear an open back hospital gown, which I clenched closed on the side. Not impressed! I went in to the room and this is what happened: "Are you pregnant?" "No..." "When was the start of your last period?" "Um... a month and a half ago. *silence* I'm on the pill and I skipped the last one because I had an exam." The lady leaves the room and when she comes back in, "You're not pregnant are you?" "No..." "Did you double up the pack?" "Yeah..." She left, came back, made me sign something and asked what pill I was on. "So there's no chance that you're pregnant?" "Absolutely none." "Okay sorry, we have to ask anyone over the age of twelve." I felt like screaming I'M ON THE PILL FOR MEDICAL REASONS AND AM A VIRGIN, SO NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT! Instead, I just said, "Okay" but I was peeved and definitely not impressed. Anyway, I could've been pregnant at the age of ten if I wanted to... There was a moth poster on the wall which made me burst into tears twice. She didn't ask why I was crying. I was not impressed one bit.

Getting Food:~ First we went to Leekes in Cross Hands for food, but there was actually no vegetarian food apart from a tiny bit of soup, and considering I was starving, that wouldn't do. We were forced to have paninis in Llanelli's Tesco Extra. We, especially Mother, were not impressed by any of this.

Blood Test:~ We drove to another hospital and Mother and I zoomed up to the pathology department. As I'm a vegetarian who sleeps more than normal people, these are quite regular as the doctors are waiting for me to go anaemic. I felt like I was going to throw up, and when I saw that there was nobody else in the waiting room I made the noise of a wounded animal. This didn't go down well with Mother, she was embarrassed and not impressed. It was on number thirty-five, and the ticket said thirty-five, so I forced Mother to get another one. This one said thirty-seven, so I relaxed. There were some 'youths' behind us and one did a stupid, mental voice. I'm scared of mentals, so I spun around to find them staring at me and Mother. Half a second later, number thirty-seven came up. I was not impressed, especially not when she stuck the plaster on me at the end (as I'm allergic to them) or when some fat woman walked into it on the way out.

Extra Extra, Get Your Extra:~ On our way driving around, Skank phoned me to 'confess' to not liking Jeffree Star (which means that I have to find at least one more person to go with or I can't go) and a bit of the car fell off. I was not impressed at my situation in the first, and my parents weren't in the latter. Oh well, Glee's on tonight!

The Ten Hour Exam

The ten hour Art exam, sounds horrible right? It's probably the word exam that makes it sound so horrible - but when you're sat in a class full of clowns who won't shut up and are really entertaining, on top of someone making a random, dodgy-looking instrument behind you, you realise that this is nothing like it's meant to be and in no way does it need to be dreaded as much as you dreaded it moments before this realisation... (It looks like a long post, but it seriously shouldn't take too long.)

Part One - Tuesday March Ninth, Twenty-Ten.

I woke up earlier than usual to try to ensure a decent mood throughout the day. Since I'd be doing Art for the whole entire school day, I tied my hair up. This is me being practical, but it made me self-conscience about my raggedy ears. They were really cold and unhappy, they don't like being looked at. Anyway, on the bus I listened to my Jarvis playlist, which I had stuck in my head for the whole entire day (not that I'm complaining), and I didn't talk to Bitch Mouth because I told him not to talk to me this week due to stress and annoyance. I warned everyone not to mention the hair, but Lady Hammett did, which vexed me somewhat. She and I then went off to the ladies' lavatory to put my TNS machine on. I then made a quick appearance in form before zooming up to the ceramics room. I felt really sick at this point. Miss pointed at a seat, and I sat in the one opposite it because I like to see what everyone else is doing. Gopher sat in front of me, which was nice, but would've been nicer if I still fancied the pants off him (although he does have one of the prettiest smiles in the planet), Whore was next to me and Mr Sex Change was diagonal to me. I didn't mind this until half way through the fifth hour... Gopher and I picked up our stretched A2 paper and got our gouache out, I popped over to the sink to ensure that I had my two favourite paintbrushes, and I grabbed a paint lid (oh sorry, pallet) and a transparent plastic cup. I organized everything neatly and systematically - right angles staring up at me because I really can be THAT anal. Smooth wasn't there, he was in hospital.

It took me less than half an hour to draw the picture of Floss, the same picture that I posted in this blog before but bigger, and when I realised how quickly I'd done it, all the feeling of sickness subsided, I was going to be fine. I started painting the brown bits first, which brought me up to break time, then I painted all of the greys and background in the second hour, and did the second coat of those colours in the third hour. I had lunch, where Ashmlee Willie Winkie gave me a huge Aero bar (that I paid for) and he fetched me some milk (which I also paid for), and I saw Lady Hammett, Skank, Squidward and Kiwee for half a second. Ashmlee Willie Winkie and I walked around the school and sat down for a bit, it was sweet. I then made a second appearance in form and zoomed up to the ceramics room for my fourth and fifth hour. For the first of the two hours, I painted the black part. Then in the final hour of the first day, I painted a second coat on her. During this, I leant over the table facing Mr Sex Change. I was getting peeved because my tie kept touching the paint, so Mr Sex Change told me to take it off, which I did because it made a lot of sense. It was ten minutes until I realised that my boobs were practically out, and I was ever so embarrassed! I wanted to cry and run out of the exam... The thought of him seeing them repulsed me, and still does. I cleaned away, and then realised that I'd forgotten to paint a square inch maximum in the corner. I zoomed to the sink to soak my paintbrush, stole some of Mr Sex Change's gouache and painted it. I was really upset when I realised that I must've leant on her nose with black on my wrist, so there was a black smudge on her white nose. We all walked around then, perving on each other's work.

That was the end of the first day, and then I went Mother's Day shopping.

Part Two - Friday March Twelfth, Twenty-Ten.

Again, I woke up earlier and actually got out of bed at quarter past eight, as opposed to the usual twenty-five past eight. I did my face and tied my hair up (again) then caught the bus, listening to a mixture of Elliot Minor songs and The Smiths. I couldn't really be bothered to talk, so I walked Lady Hammett and Dorian to the music room and then zoomed to form. I went up to Art and was pretty chuffed when Smooth sat next to Gopher and diagonal to me. He was so entertaining, he spent most of the time glancing around the room for something more entertaining to distract him. Fair play though, his drawing was really good, even though it took him four hours to draw.

It again took me around half an hour to draw Santi with clouds in the background, then I painted the sky blue. Thankfully, it only needed one coat because it was so thick. I then painted the brown part of Santi. I stole Gopher's bright lime gouache and painted Santi's eyes. Then there was a break, where Lady Hammett, Ginger and I spoke about Smooth for about ten minutes. Meh walked past and I just remembered the whole Welsh thing. (I spoke to my teacher about it, and she said "I don't expect you to start dating or anything!" to which I gave myself away by turning my own special shade of crimson.) I then went back to Art and painted the grey parts of the clouds. I did the second coat of all of the colours, and then started on the first coat of black on him. Dinner time, everyone was in a weird mood (or it might've been me..?) so Ashmlee Willie Winkie and I sat in 'the cave', listening to his iPod whilst I scribbled some notes in my prep work in case my teacher collected the work in, which she didn't. When I got back to Art, I did the second coat of black and then tried to sort his eyes out. I did the same green as my Grandparents' upstairs bathroom for the majority of his eyes, and a mustard coloured line around his pupils. I then did the white dots that give the pictures life and added a darker tone of brown to the original ones, just to improve it. With an hour to spare, I fixed Floss' nose by painting it white and then re-doing Floss' unique brown smudge next to her nose. This cheered me up loads because I plan on keeping the picture forever. I want to hang it up. I am that proud of it!

So that was it. The feeling was bitter sweet to be honest. No more lessons to be missed but no more painful necks. It's all pros and cons I guess... When I got home, I listened to a mixture of The Smiths and We Are Scientists and fell asleep for two hours. When I woke up, I had a microwave pasta meal (as Mother and Testicles had chilli) and then went upstairs to watch some My So-Called Life - I'm on the third disk out of five, and about to start the fourth. I then had a mug of tea with a mini-roll and a brief conversation before buggering off upstairs again to carry on watching Jared Leto in the awesome mid-90s teen drama.

Peace Up, Peace Out!

x

Foundation Girl is Happy.

Monday was suppose to be my last day of freedom before the gruelling ten hour exam. For the first half of the day, I had a rather uneventful Art lesson, Business lesson and Critical Thinking lesson. Dinner time, I stretched paper. It sounds weird, and it is. You have to soak a piece of paper in the sink and put it on a board, flattening it out at the edges. You then get some gummed brown paper tape, soak it so that the gummed side turns into glue and place it all along the edges of the paper. It has to be half on the paper, half on the board. The idea of this is that the paper 'relaxes' but then can't go back to its original size because of the tape. It should be ready to use tomorrow. Should.

Life isn't all excitement and popcorn - I had one of my real Welsh oral exams. For this particular exam, there're only three variations of questions: organizing something, persuading someone, replying to an advert. I'd only really looked at the third variation because it's the easiest meaning I didn't need to learn anything in order to do alright in it. Lazy, I know. If you were a higher candidate doing foundation though, you'd be the same! Foundation relies heavily upon sentence structure, whilst higher relies heavily on vocabulary, which I could never learn. That's the case with second language at least, anyway... As I'm 'Foundation Girl', I was at the bottom of the list with the other three people doing foundation. Meh was at 14.50, Whore was at 15.00, I was at 15.10 and Flat Nose was at 15.20. This was all during RE which peeved me a bit as I look forward to sitting next to Meh, even though I can't talk to him. I felt sick, but not with nervous. No, I felt sick just waiting for her to do that disappointed face at me. That face always makes me want to throw up and cry at the same time. I was sat in RE alone, and then I left at around 15.08, I knew it would over-run and it had. Whore told me to go to the library, Meh was in there. I sat in there opposite my old form teacher, Miss Beard (now Mrs Morgan) and made small talk for about seventy-two seconds until we lapsed into silence. My Welsh teacher came and fetched me. I told her I felt sick and she told me that I shouldn't be nervous, but I obviously should. That threw me. It threw me so much that I forgot that I was feeling sick. She went through the questions with me, and then gave me a piece of paper to write my preparation notes on. I took the piece of paper from my pocket out and copied out the two sentences that I had to learn. (They were: Rydw i'n ffonio achos mae gen i ddiddordeb yn yr hysbyseb, which I actually did know, and Wela i chi cyn bo hir, which I didn't know that well.) I then went in and she explained that she was going to read out my candidate number (0001) and the instructions and then I should start. I didn't understand what she was saying when she spoke in Welsh, so there was around a ten second gap with me whispering "Do I start now?" That wasn't a great start. She spoke over me once, and then told me I was excellent and that she was relieved because she'd been waiting for my oral.

I scooted back to RE and Meh said that he'd chosen me to do the Welsh Group Oral with. This made me really happy, really embarrassed, and I wanted to explode. He then went on to say that I couldn't drag him down and he couldn't drag me down. I told him we could script it and he could have all the easy bits. I then told him I'd sacrifice my grades for him. Camel stared at us, and I freaked out, so he mocked me. I told him he looked like a camel, explaining that it was because of his long eyelashes and long face. He couldn't see how it was anything but an insult. He made me laugh, and then agreed that I looked like a chipmunk or a beaver. I was embarrassed, but still uber excited that I was going to be working with Meh in the future without looking like a stalker. I told Lady Hammett, and Skank, and Kiwee, and Ginger. I would've told Squidward, but he'd gone... Even Lady Hammett wasn't interested, but I didn't care because I was exploding all over the place with happiness! Then, when I got home, I made myself Carrot and Coriander soup, which I grated cheese into so it would melt in the microwave. NOMNOMNOM!

I still haven't finished my History essay, but I won't be in the lesson tomorrow because of the first half of my ten hour exam! Ha!

PostScript: [If you haven't had enough time to read my blog from yesterday, it's about a trip to England and going to see Alice in Wonderland with Lady Hammett and Cherry. You don't necessarily have to read it, or comment on it, but it would make me very happy indeed. I won't be posting again until Friday soonest!]

The Week Before HELL.

So Monday night, I'm home alone and therefore obviously on the one and only worthwhile social networking website for my particular age group - go on and try to guess what on Earth I'm talking about! Whilst clicking 'become a fan' of random statements that I agree with or find amusing, I get a phone call from Mother. She's decided we were to be going to the Cotswolds on Tuesday, the day of my mock Welsh oral. Does she know this? Hell no! Did I care? Not in the slightest (Y)

The most gutting part had to be that I pretty got up at the same time as I usually do. I hate when you don't have to go to school, but you get up the same time. It leaves you feeling hollow on the inside, thinking about the lie-in that you should be having as a reward for not going to school. I got up though and put on my skinniest pair (and therefore favourite pair) of black skinnies, my new AMAZING Nike shoes, my New Look 'Rockstar' long jumper, my turquoise American Apparel zip-up, my ancient New Look black jacket thing, a creamy zebra print head band and my favourite Chihuahua necklace from Eden. Whilst walking from the car park to a nomnomnom place, we passed a little wooden shop, so we went in there and bought this wall thing that looks like a house but is actually a key holder. It's cute. We then went to the gallery that we always go to and viewed menus in four different places, the first two had little choice but did offer pea soup so I would've been happy, the third was just in passing and the fourth was somewhere that we normally go, and Pa and I had homity pie (which I usually have in school). We then went browsing in random shops, like Oxfam, Fat Face and a button shop, before heading over to Cirencester cathedral. I sat in there like a vain pig, redoing my head band and eye liner, whilst Pa was in a weird mood and Mother walked around in awe, like she has done the last 1,000,000,000 times we've gone there. I just don't seem to care much for cathedrals or churches or any religious places to be honest. Mother still argues that I'm a Christian because I've been Christened - she refuses to listen when I prove her wrong with what my RE teacher told the class. Seriously though, I couldn't keep my eyes off these English guys! We then zoomed to Cardiff, which we didn't really want to do, but it was getting late and most places would be closed in Swansea by the time we arrived. We went to two Pizza Hut's and in the first, they were really rude, and in the second, they'd run out of dough but were very polite. We then went to Pizza Express, but it was freezing in there so we went to Zizzi's which we love anyway, and we were served by this not-so-bad-on-the-eyes guy called James, who we realised was gay as soon as he opened his mouth. Tsss... Not cool.

Here's a list of things that went on between Wednesday and Friday:

I had to explain my absence in History to Lady Hammett, I was called repulsive by Squidward, I text a group of people asking them if I was just to prove that I'm not, I was prioritised in the hugging department by Digby, I met my new doctor, I had a row from my Welsh teacher for not being in school when I had my mock Welsh oral, I received my report (which had a double Business page and no Physics page), I spoke a few sentences to Smooth without exploding, I lost it to a Virgo, I nearly died in PE, I was called 'Foundation Girl' in referral to Welsh by my friend who's turned really bitter to me about the whole thing and I had a review with the Headmaster. Oh, and yes I know I should call her a Headmistress, but words changing for sexism and racism has gone too far. Isn't it better to treat people the same and not give people different words based on their sex? Feminism can get screwed. Then to top it all off, Lady Hammett stayed over and we watched two episodes of The IT Crowd, one episode of The Mighty Boosh and Blades Of Glory. We went to bed at gone three in the morning.

Saturday morning, we were meant to catch the quarter past eight bus to Swansea, as I had arranged on Wednesday (the same day I was called repulsive), but then on Friday night Cherry text me to tell me that the Brynaman bus would arrive in Ammanford at twenty past eight and that she 'hadn't had time' to check the times. (It took me about three minutes to check all of the bus times on the internet in my Business lesson.) This seriously annoyed me, so we had to bum around Ammanford until ten to nine, which really wasn't cool. We then zoomed to Swansea, zoomed over to Vue, waited for it to open and then went in and bought our tickets. Lady Hammett bought a large popcorn for the two of us and told me I didn't have to pay her, but she only ate like, three handfuls. I ate it all basically! Ashmlee Willie Winkie was there, so I saw him for a bit, then we went straight in and watched the film, which I can't be arsed to review (because I like to review things properly and in depth). However, I will tell you that my favourite character is now the March Hare, and my ultimate favourite part of the film simply had to be: [booming Scottish accent] YOU'RE ALL LATE FOR TEA! I'm not even joking, I nearly wet my pants. Seriously, I love him! After that, we strolled around Swansea, visiting the Blue Banana, Claire's, Top Shop, the special pasty place (Cherry rated her pasty an eight, Lady Hammett rated her pasty a nine and I rated my pasty a ten), Derrik's Music, Hobo's and Eden. We then went to the Mad Cow (Lady Hammett had a Nutella milkshake whilst Cherry and I had Kinder Bueno milkshakes) and then met up with Cherry's friends Shaun (Crumple) and Amy. They're lovely! Even if Crumple is obsessed with someone that seriously hurt me without giving it any though, y'know Fag from a few posts ago? Yeah, well him. Amy was lovely and crazy, which is grand. Lady Hammett went quiet, but that's here prerogative so..? We saw Ashmlee Willie Winkie again, which was grand! We went to the Blue Banana twice more because Crumple is obsessed, but to make up, he bought us Subway cookies, so it's all cocaine baby! On the bus, Amy went sick (poor thing), I took loads of pictures of Lady Hammett doing hideous faces and Midget REALLY annoyed us. Oh, and for reasons I can't be bothered to explain, I was being called Simpson Girl by this guy called Chris. Cherry started saying that she was going to be killed because her mother wanted her home by seven, which she failed to tell us. Why do people have such shit organising skills? It turns out the next bus to Brynaman was quarter past eight, which is slightly ironic as that's the same time that I wanted to catch the bus this morning! When we got home, Lady Hammett told me that she's busy on the weekend of the seventeenth of March so I have to wait to see I Love You Phillip Morris, which I'm really upset about but understand. Plus, it turns out that Jeffree Star and BrokeNCYDE are coming to Sin City, so I'm hoping I can go to that! I fell asleep at around half nine, and went to bed at around eleven.

I have my Welsh oral exam tomorrow and I haven't revised at all. I've prioritised my ten hour Art exam which is this Tuesday and Friday. This I am not happy about. Another thing I'm not happy about is that I woke up at nine this morning, but only got out of bed at noon. Then this blog post took an hour to write, so that's four hours that could've been spent on Art gone. Stressed? Of course, but I'm not going to act like Squidward about it...