The Day I Walked Four Miles

Next Saturday, I'm going to the cinema with Cerian, Kate (her 'plus one') and Abi (my 'plus one') to see Tim Burton's 'Alice In Wonderland' (since Cerian and I have been waiting with much excitement to see it since rumours of the project were first announced). After that, I have to go up to the Rugby Club with Mother for BitchMouth's older brother's eighteenth birthday bash. He's doing A Level English and Mother tutors him because he's atrocious! We'll only be going for an hour because we aren't the kind of people to go to those places. Therefore, I went up to Ffairfach to see Ashmlee Willie Winkie this Saturday, so he wouldn't be too disappointed in not seeing me when I'm in Swansea.

I didn't make a special effort to wake up early, so I got out of bed at 13.30 and got to Ashmlee Willie Winkie's house in Ffairfach by 15.00 after I'd bathed and made myself decent. First we stood around in his house awkwardly, then we walked up to the gallery in Llandeilo. I was told that my work resembled some artist called Esther something, so I made the special effort to go up to check her out. I've never been so insulted! She paints £300 smudges that aren't even recognisable half the time. My paintings don't look like smudges! (I've included my favourite animal one to prove my point!) Then we strolled to CK's and the Co-operative (both circled in turquoise on the map). I bought a large packet of plain Aero and one of those little milk bottles (semi-skimmed of course), whilst Ashmlee Willie Winkie bought a large packet of mint Aero, a can of Coke and a packet of crisps. We ate all of this pretty quickly. Then I had the great idea of having an adventure and walking up to the bandstand (which is circled in yellow on the map). We instead chose to go down a wooded area where a deer cull is currently being undergone, there was a faint path but it was so slippery and muddy that it was more hazardous than helpful. Then we ended up at an abandoned church and graveyard. Seriously, some of the people there were from the 1800s! They had cool names too, so I took a picture of around three and plan to use them for inspiration. We then strolled through the fields, seeing an adorable lamb on the way. I loved it anyway, but when it got up and limped up to us with a broken leg my heart could've exploded. Then it limped off. I don't know the RSPCA number, but last time I phoned them they said they couldn't do anything about the bird with it's wing hanging off. Arseholes. Anyway, we walked through around three fields and then I saw Dinefwr Castle. New adventure, duh! We trekked up there, our legs breaking in half, and then explored every inch of the castle possible. The steps up to some of the towery bits were so steep that they actually touched the back of my knee (which is around 18inches). I've pulled my right thigh in the process! Then as it was getting dark, we left. At one point, I skidded and landed face first into Ashmlee Willie Winkie. I started talking about how old the castle must be, and I was rather impressed when he remembered the phrase 'motte and bailey castle'. When we were in the fields, the moon was full and the clouds were strolling past it. I joked that these were the kind of scenes where the werewolves come streaming out of the forest and eat their victims. It was really dark when we finally got out of the fields.I know it's awful, but I'm a little bit scared of people with mental problems, you never know what they're thinking and they're revolting. (We all have faults, right?) You can imagine my horror when one came over to Ashmlee Willie Winkie and myself asking if we'd seen a dachshund. She made me think of one of the infected people in 28 Days Later, which sort of freaked me out! We passed a sign saying 'Bogwood Boardwalk' which tickled us, and then when we reached the main road, we went to Spar for Ashmlee Willie Winkie to buy a drink. We then popped on a bus and zoomed to my house.

When home, I tied his hair up and then abused him a bit. Then we ate pizza and watched Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans with my parents. I loved it! Michael Sheen has always teetered on my 'weird man crush' list, but now he's properly included as one of the mains! Oof! NOMNOMNOM! Ashmlee Willie Winkie and I went upstairs and made out for a bit whilst listening to my 'Jarvis' playlist (which is a mix of his solo stuff and Pulp). I kept giggling at how inappropriate some of the lyrics were. After that, Pa took him home and then the Brownies sat and watched Underworld and Underworld: Evolution. This took us up to about 05.00, so I went up to bed and read some of Red Dragon by Thomas Harris before eventually falling asleep. I also text my lovely Lady Hammett for a bit. After writing this, I printed out the map with our snail trail on and with a piece of string, measured how far we walked. The results were 22, 500 feet which is 4 miles or 7 kilometres, whatever floats your boat. No wonder my leg is still killing me!

The Scenes That Books Miss.

Wednesday, Ceramics Room, Lunch time. Lady Hammett and I were ranting, raving and rating. Smooth (previously referred to as Blondie) was there and then he wasn't, and then he was. Lady Hammett and I gave him a 8.5 and 9.5 for appearances, and n/a and 8.5 for personality. (Lady Hammett has never really had any contact with him, so I didn't push her to a number. I've already had plenty of embarrassing moments with him, but when my bra started to slip down with my phone in it and my instant reaction was to hoist it up and he saw, laughed and winked, that was a bit too much. Then he started making a fuss that I'd scoffed the whole entire Haribo packet (a new vegetarian option) when in fact, I'd shared them. The whole point of fussing was that he wanted one and I hadn't made a special attempt to give him one. I was too embarrassed. During the lesson before lunch, he told me he owned a wolf and I got over-excited until he laughed and told me he didn't. That was also embarrassing.

Thursday, Ceramics Room, Period three. I walk in the room and stare at Smooth, his nose has paint on. He looks up at me and I look away, ashamed to admit that I love finding an actual reason to stare at him.

Thursday, form, afternoon registration. Smooth and Chin burst in laughing their asses off. They're taunting some fat mental kid in the room across the corridor. I've never seen two people of their age laugh so much. It was hilariously adorable. They sit down and when I look up I see Smooth and Chin playing with roll-on lip balm. Chin licks the tip of it, Smooth licks the length of it, they both sit there with disgusted faces sticking their tongues out at random intervals. It's a picture! Then Smooth sticks his finger in front of Chin's mouth to make him be quiet like we did in primary school. Chin licks it, Smooth freaks out. When we left form, I saw a moth and was so horrified that my heart started racing uncontrollably and I couldn't breath.

All of these incredibly embarrassing, quirky little moments that make life unique and funny... Why don't they happen in the books? Why can't books be a little bit more realistic (as BitchMouth would say)? I mean, come on people! Let's make this shit work! xD

For My Shareholders

Meh. Hello, Hey. Yeah good ta, yourself? Glad to hear, glad to hear. What's that? You want me to tell you why I freak out when I talk to you? Oh, don't worry about it. No seriously, you don't want to know. But it's embarrassing! Oh fine then. It's because I really have the hots for you and I know it's stupid because I don't know you much, and you're only in two of my classes; one of which you never even glance in my direction, and I would know because I'm always looking in yours. That is unless Obsessor has upset me, then I'm looking around for something to distract me because I don't want you to see me upset and then avoid me because you think I'm some self-harming, moping female. Only when you think of your RE lessons do you ever vaguely remember me, you don't even remember me when you walk straight past me in the corridor and leave me to stand there in a daze thinking about how you'll never remember me (unless it's for the wrong reasons) and you'll never be interested in me. I know, it's petty. Thinking of this now makes it impossible to think of you without becoming depressed. I don't even know why I like you...

Panda Pie. You know I like you. You always knew that I liked you, and you never liked me. There was a time once when I thought that you did have tiny feelings for you, but the fact that I know I'll never even kiss you (unless I meet you drunk in which I shall force myself upon you) is why I've decided you never have and never will. You're obviously just naturally flirtatious, or lovely, either way you have a following including myself. I remember when we use to kick the back of Chicken's Bum's chair, and she'd glare at us, then we'd just shrug and I'd laugh because I couldn't help but laugh and smile when I was near you. That's still the case really. When I saw you yesterday, I wanted to cry and attack you with hugs and tears. Remember when I started crying when you told me you were leaving and would never see me again? You must remember, you were really shocked that I cared that much and I think the penny dropped that I liked you. Yeah, well when I realised that I'd probably never see you again a year ago I cried, a lot. Pathetic, I know, but that's my style. Hearing that you'd been all over that dancer shattered any new hope I had. I can't even aspire to be anything like I'm guessing she was. I'm simply too me, too not your kind. This seems to be a recurring pattern in my thoughts, sorry.

Fag. I only met up with you once, and then you 'turned' and for some reason, I got really upset. No explanation really, just some hope being shattered so early on was painful to come to terms with. Then every time I saw you your smile faded, every time you spoke about me to my sister you apparently called me a 'stalker' and every time I looked at you your eyes darted away. I didn't do anything. You just didn't text back one day after you got back with your ex-boyfriend. Okay so I wrote a poem about it, and I cried about it every single time I went near Tesco. I think it was more confusion than general upset, although you do look exactly like the prettiest and most perfect girl ever to have graced a modelling programme.

Stoner. You've ruined every single relationship I've ever had. Who would guess that you'd have such an impact on my life! I was with you when I got drunk for the first time, you'd just finished with me when I started self-harming and I've cheated on loads of my boyfriends with you. I think it's important to state that it's not you that I believe I fell in love with, it's who you were. I know 'love' is a big word and I never use it with it's original meaning, but no other relationship has had such an impact and never have I ever felt the same way. I still can't resist you though. Hell, we were over and done with in 2007 so why am I so ridiculous?

Frog. You have the worst family in the local area. I know all about it and you know what? I never ever doubted that you were one of the loveliest people ever. You made me so happy when Tess had made me cry, and I even lied to my family to see you, but never did you kiss me. Was the timing not right or was I not pretty enough for you? Okay so we're quite different as far as civilisation is concerned, but I liked you and I wanted to kiss you. Now you're going out with Chicken's Bum. I can't help but compare her to me and it's actually quite insulting. I don't want to say it, but maybe I was a little bit out of your league in that maybe I was too smart or had too much ambition, because none of your friends are on a par and Chicken's Bum doesn't seem to be either. Still, I really like you, because you are lovely.

My Pitiful Calamity...

Hey everyone, allow me to introduce you to the working of my body clock:

Bed at 4am. Awake at 9.45am. Bed at 11am. Awake at 5.30pm. Still tired.

I had to go to the dentist AGAIN today, which wasn't really cool, but I talk to Dr. Rai now because after being seen by Dr. Patel, I can see that I could have a far worse dentist, so now I'm uber grateful for all the work he puts into my head. My mouth has been complete and utter agony so now I have this numbing shit for it. It'll make eating and making sound effects slightly bearable. As for my social life, it's gone. Ashmlee Willie Winkie works on Friday and Sunday, I don't work, but school means that I only get Saturday and Sunday off. Nobody wants to do anything on Sunday, because other than watch DVDs at home or walk around a ghost town, there's really nothing to do. And I'm fed up of all the rants of being a bad girlfriend because I'm only like that with him because he happens to work shit days and be the complete opposite to any of my friends, in or out of school. I want to see Lady Hammett (and yes, I have changed her to that on my phone contact) and I don't want to get stuck in routine like I have the last twice. Maybe he'll go to some skating thing one week or a party... I'm definitely going to see Alice In Wonderland with Cerian at least though. I refuse to drag him to that. He says that I Love You Phillip Morris looks funny, but I wonder if he'll still say that when the time comes. I'd feel uncomfortable with him there, I mean HELLO! It's a gay film with Ewan McGreggor, I'm going to be in tens of thousands of over-excited pieces! Oh well, here goes nothing.

Something To Think About

So lately I've been thinking about a few things; censorship, norms, values, elephants in rooms and why we're told not to do certain things...

Take for example, swearing. They're only words. They can be really offensive, true, but it's all about the context they're used in. People of an older generation say that people swear because they're not smart enough to use proper words. This is ridiculous. In fact, I can't think of many things more ridiculous. There are plenty of highly intelligent people who swear like sailors, the most well known example being Stephen Fry. I swear to add conviction to what I'm saying, to heighten emotion, to add passion. Yes there are incredibly stupid people that swear every other word, but they sound stupid and we shouldn't all be tarred with the same brush. There are more uses to swearing than simply offending and insulting. I've been a believer of this for many years, and it hasn't changed one bit. I still stick by it.

Now the controversial one. The elephant in the room. Our society's norms and values. What am I talking about? Things like proper drugs (as opposed to petty prescription drugs), self-harm and underage sex. These things are all evil, obviously. Just ask anyone that takes part in any of them and they'll tell you themselves. Right? Wrong! Why should we be dictated to about things that are good and bad. I know plenty of drug addicts (of course though, not many of them would consider themselves addicts) and they all seem happy enough. When things are taken in considerable amounts, then they can't be that harmful. Self-harm makes people feel good, and just because someone self-harms (be in with a sharp object or their fists) it doesn't mean they're suicidal. It's just like self-counselling, and if it's not overdone or done in reasonable, considerable amounts, then it can help restore someones emotion stability. True, it's an addiction, but it's not one that slowly creeps up to danger levels, it can be maintained. Underage sex is fine as long as it's done correctly and with some sort of thought before hand. Underage pregnancy is, in my opinion, skanky. Seriously, just wait until you have your GCSEs at least. My sister couldn't be bothered with school and was far too busy having (at the time) heterosexual sex, and now look at her. The only thing she can do in the RAF is be a cook. I do wonder how on Earth she managed to be thrown out if Graig in such a short space of time though!

Before I leave you with this, I would like to add that I wouldn't necessarily recommend any of these, but I would recommend that you take your life in your own hands. I overheard Pa talking about me to Mother before, and he said "She doesn't know what's best for her." Thinking of this always makes my blood boil. Nobody understands what goes on in my head. I go to say sorry, then say something sharp and cutting instead. That word is too hard. Only I truly know what I need.

In Which I Don't Mention St. Valentine's Day.

Okay, so here are the three things I'm going to talk about: Dental Procedure, Lady Hammett, Swansea and Those With An XY Chromosome. (This post has taken me a while to red, I have NME on television and Pulp's song 'Disco 2000' came on. I've never properly watched the video and I find it necessary to stop everything I'm doing to watch and appreciate the God-like Jarvis Cocker. Then Head Automatica's 'Beating Heart Baby' came on and I had to drool to Daryl Palumbo, et cetera et cetera et cetera...)

(i) Dental Procedure. (Friday February Twelfth, Twenty-Ten. Part One.)

I have another procedure taking place in my head - or to be more specific, in my face - or to be more specific, in my mouth. Even though I'm only sixteen, I have wisdom teeth coming up, and lucky me, they're impacted. I went to the dentist about it before, but when I had the X-ray, they found the cyst. Obviously that was prioritised and sorted first. But now the pain was back. As I showed Lady Hammett on the bus the previous Saturday, my gums weren't allowing the teeth to come through so it looked like I had two lumps in the back of my mouth. This was the main cause of the pain. After a dental appointment, I was told to book another one on Friday. So we did and I left school between second and third lesson after picking up the school's supply of Gouache and some notes for Business that I'd failed to receive before. I read some of Chuck Palahniuk's 'Non-Fiction' in the waiting room. After a brief conversation with Dr. Rai, my dentist, he injected my mouth and froze it. He told me it would feel like a scratching sensation, but he didn't tell me that it would feel like a needle going into my head, which shocked me so much that I almost didn't realise the pain. He then cut off the gum that was covering my wisdom tooth on the painful side, and then stuck some material in my mouth and told me to bite onto it for ten whole minutes. This left me unable to talk and feeling rude because I couldn't say Thank You. There's now a square shaped hole in the back of my mouth; it's painful, gross and not lady-like at all.

(ii) Lady Hammett. (Friday February Twelfth, Twenty-Ten. Part Two.)

Once I'd had a piece of my head removed (see above), I text Lady Hammett telling her that she could still come over because it wasn't as painful as expected. She ended up staying, which was cool, and we watched two amazing films: Pineapple Express and Wilde. Turns out her second favourite person, James Franco, was one of the main dudes that I love. (He's second after Jeff Buckley, duh.) We took some pictures of ourselves doing faces that were just wrong, and we spoke about girly stuff until Hell froze over. Thankfully, she was producing the main output for a change. I enjoyed it too, because with me there's always something new that I want to tell Lady Hammett, so to shut up and listen to her going on for ages about one thing was fun. We went to bed at four, then she spoke some more and we eventually fell asleep. She had to leave early the next day because I was meeting up with Ashmlee Willie Winkie at eleven in Llandeilo. I'm sad that Lady Hammett is going to Wells, I'm scared of being replaced and not have anyone to rant all my stupid girly crap to. If she keeps her blog up though, we can keep up to date with everything and I'll get her Christmas presents and Birthday presents and everything!

(iii) Swansea. (Saturday February Twelfth, Twenty-Ten. Part One.)

The Saturday previous, I went on a date with Sam Mitchell. This week, I went to Swansea again but with Ashmlee Willie Winkie. To everyone else, it would look like a date, and I suppose it was, but we didn't discuss that word! It still makes me blush see... Anyway, I showed him the best place in the whole of Swansea to get a pasty, especially if you're a vegetarian (which he isn't, but he is considerate this year because he said that if we go to Subway, he'd end up eating meat, meat and more meat). It's in the market, and it's but the entrance that's on the same street as Accessorise, Monsoon and Lush. The cheese and onion pasty is full of potato, so it's delicious, even though it did burn my tongue. Then we strolled to the cake stall diagonal to my Mother's Cousin soap stall, and then walked around the perimeter of the market a whole five times trying to find an empty bench. We didn't, so we went to O'Briens and got a tea and a coffee, and snuck in our cakes. Ashmlee Willie Winkie had chocolate cake, I had carrot cake. The lady next to us was drinking tea and I was watching her for no particular reason when all of a sudden her cup snapped clean in half in mid-air. It made me feel like Harry Potter when he gets peeved and his Aunt balloons. I was scared of being cautioned by the wizarding community then... haha. Anyway, we strolled around and kind of did nothing. I bought Taylor Swift's album and Frankmusik's album. I wanted to get Ellie Goulding's or Marina & The Diamonds' but they hadn't come out by then. Oh, and we found this place that sells every kind of milkshake imaginable (including Parma Violets, Peanut Butter and Chocolate and Skittles). I had the Nutella one, obviously. I'm going to go there on all of my Swansea trips. That way, I can make a mental League Table of the best ones, and when we're all up to it, it'll be fun for all of us to get gross ones as a laugh! We're all nerds anyway! At one point, at least one hundred people were crowded around the fountain watching the rugby on the huge television screen by McDonald's.

(iv) Those With An XY Chromosome. (Saturday February Twelfth, Twenty-Ten. Part Two.)

Ashmlee Willie Winkie came over and had pasta here, eventually staying the night because he works with Pa on Fridays and Sundays in The Fig Tree, and has done since the first time we went out four years ago. Mother was really upset when I left him, so Pa offered him a job. This year, he has an opinion which is amazing because that was one of his biggest flaws before. He even shook his head when I asked him if he liked So You Think You Can Dance because I was watching Tommy. Before he would've just shrugged. Anyway, I think we're kind of together, but two really scary things happened. The first one was that he looked like this creepy guy on the internet that I use to talk to, and the second thing was that when we were making out, I thought it would be funny to think of Meh, and when I did I was so turned on that I felt like crying because it wasn't Meh and never will be Meh. Then I thought of Blondie, which didn't make the situation much better. We ended up watching 'Silence of the Lambs'. I loved it and now need to see 'Hannibal' and read the books.

Take My Breath Away

Yesterday was the day that I became truly aware of my obsession. I was staring at Blondie (Lady Hammett named him), he isn't a new item on my VIP list but he has crawled back up to the top as of late. I'm scared to mention it too much at the moment though, lease don't ask why. Oh, and when I say top I don't mean Number One or anything. I DON'T RANK MY MEN! We were walking into the main building of the school and I thought about how lovely he was and how I should never even aspire to catch someone like that. (I know; I make them sound like Pokemon, get over it!) Then when I turned around to look where I was going, Meh was in arm's length. This was at 13.57 and it made me so excited to see him after a whole day without him walking past me that all of my feelings jolted and I felt like throwing up. Lately I've been feeling light headed, dizzy, nauseous, cold and have had the sniffles and a cold, so this feeling was completely complimentary of that! I'm not saying that he makes me want to vomit, I'm saying that he makes me go in overdrive! Lady Hammett wasn't in, so I couldn't run to her and tell her, but I caught lovely ickle Ceri on the stairs and told her all in one breath! I felt like such a sad chick, but I suppose I am! Oh well... I then had Sociology and the whole time I was just thinking about how amazing it would be just to catch him looking at me, even though I know it will never happen. I just want to find someone staring at me, why am I always the one doing the staring? It's not fair, am I the only one with the hots for the guys in my classes? I think it wore me out, because I went home and slept for twelve hours!

Poignant Moment of the Day

Picture the scene:

A bus stop full of a variety of children. Some males and some females, some pretty and some ugly, some thin and some fat (not mentioning any names). Everyone, apart from one girl in the corner wearing a huge black coat with a brightly coloured, handmade-by-Mother flower broach on the lapel, is talking about Six Nations - England vs Wales result. England beat Wales, and judging by their 'comments' they beat them pretty badly! The conversation is all about sport and then it drifts to Valentine's Day and how some of their parents are going to be completely 'sloshed' on the weekend. All of this is going on and that one girl in the corner wearing a huge black coat with a brightly coloured, handmade-by-Mother flower broach on the lapel is just stood staring at these people whilst listening to Jarvis Cocker and his narrative on society. His narrative on how everyone is obsessed with fitting in, having sex and getting even. His narrative on how once in a while there is someone who can see the things that really matter in life and get lost in their own world. This is me and I don't fit in. This is me and I never truly matured emotionally. This is me and I hope that all my dreams and ambitions won't be stomped on by a cruel harsh reality. This is me disobeying the rule of three. This is me and I hope you understand me. This is me and I don't know if I like it, but it does just fine. This is me and I'm hoping you enjoyed reading this. This is me and I'm embarrassed. This is me and I'm leaving you now. x

Ewan McGregor Causes Teen Jizz! xD

So today I went to Swansea with Sam Mitchell and we went to the cinema and saw Youth In Revolt, which stared Michael Cera as his usual self. I wore my sexy new Nike shoes. Then, on our way to the bus (which we didn't catch because it was full) we saw Lord and Lady Hammett having a stroll in WHSmiths. We collaborated and became the coolest kids in town. That's not what I'm going to rabbit on about though... I have an even bigger fish to fry!

We were sat three rows back from the screen, we had our bags on the floor, I had a bottle of water in my right hand and my right arm was bent at the elbow; I was comfortable. The trailers were loud and a majority of them were fast-paced; I had seen many of them before. Then everything changed.

A silent green screen appeared before me. My favourite colour completely caught my attention and a little buzz hummed in my stomach. (Like when Sims clap at their favourite things, this is my personal reaction, a humming buzz in my tum.) Jim Carrey appeared on the screen, I wasn't as excited as before, but not disappointed either. He's an amazing actor and a hilarious guy, but he doesn't tend to be in the films that you pay around £7 to see in the cinema. The film seemed funny, had a twist. Then, for the first time in my life, I was so sexually frustrated that I had to hold it in and squirm about in my seat. THE Ewan McGregor appeared on the screen. He is just amazing and in this film, he's gay with Jim Carrey. He seems to be overly-sensitive and sweet, a Virgo (just typed that in as 'virgin' and it made me laugh). I need to see this film or I'll die!

I Love You Phillip Morris - Coming Out On Wednesday March Seventeenth.

As my older readers will have read (http://turnipface.blogspot.com/2009/06/homosexual-lust.html), I totally have a thing for gay things and people. This film, entitled I Love You Phillip Morris, is a true story about Steven Jay Russell who, to be fair, is a genius. His IQ is 163, and he is an American con artist and an impostor who has had multiple prison escapes. He met Phillip Morris in prison, and they fell in love. He even had Morris transported to his prison at one point! A book's been published about his life, and he is now serving a 144 year long prison sentence. He's 51 now.

Here's a condensed list of his most epic escapes:

♥ In 1996, while in Harris County Jail (Texas), Russell impersonated a judge and ordered his own bond decreased from $900,000 to $45,000, which he immediately posted. He was arrested 10 days later in Florida and was sent back to Texas.

♥ That same year he started taking art classes provided by the prison. Each time he attended a session, he snatched a green Magic Marker and hid it under his bed. Eventually, he had enough markers to dye his white prison uniform green. Since all the medical professionals in the prison wore green uniforms, Russell simply walked out of the prison disguised as a "doctor."

♥ At the prison library, Russell began reading up on the HIV virus and AIDS. He began taking laxatives to make it seem as if he had the symptoms of AIDS. Russell used a prison typewriter to forge a medical document stating that he suffered from the disease, and used it to convince doctors of his "condition" on February 24. He fooled the prison doctor into believing that a 'special needs parole' to a Houston hospital had been authorized on March 13. While outside and free again, Russell posed as a doctor and informed the prison that Russell had died from AIDS.

♥ When police were alerted of his latest doings, Russell feigned a heart attack and was transported to a hospital. The FBI placed him under guard, but Russell managed to impersonate an FBI agent on his cellular phone and convinced officers guarding him to leave. He walked out of the hospital and the hunt for Russel began all over again.

Oh, and don't worry people - not all of my future posts are going to be videos. I told Sam to be more open on his blog (http://thezealouszebra.blogspot.com/) and to post what he wrote about being depressed. I was going to write a post about my views on depression and self-harm today, but seeing this trailer just made me want to spread the word. That won't be a long blog post by the way, and it won't be a pondering kind of thing either. I know where my views stand and I've developed them over the last four years of my life. So nothing short of a near-death experience will change that! xD

Cat Face (he's got a big cat's face)

I was talking to Ashley on MSN the other night, and he was watching loads of random videos on the internet. He was watching 'Cat Face' and was shocked that I hadn't ever watched them, so he sent me a link to the first one, and then I was addicted. I sent two of my friends, Lady and Lord Hammett, a link to one or two of them, but thought that it would be fun to actually post my favourite of all the eighteen episodes so far up on here. This is a link to the Cat Face playlist on YouTube by the creator, http://www.youtube.com/user/mrweebl#grid/user/2FB19AC500D06A6C. This video is Episode Ten, and it is amazing. However, I must warn you, it is about fecal matter! His accent is simply hilarious! Oh, and in completely unrelated news, with about half an hour of preparation, I scraped an 18/20 on my GCSE English oral, which is pretty darn dandy! xD

Art Attack, Heart Attack.

Monday morning means many things to many people, for us who attend Ysgol Tre-Gib, it means assembly. Lucy wasn't in school today, and neither was Guy, and these statements combined makes me think that it was because their bus didn't show up or it broke down. In assembly, we get split into boys and girls. Without Lucy, I only have Abi to keep me company. She happens to be talented and therefore was doing something with the orchestra. I was officially a loner, but so was Ashley, so I didn't feel so bad when he saw me.

First lesson was Art. Two people fainted; one being an unimportant, high cheek boned bitch who agrees with fox hunting and the other was the really pretty Angharad Dymond that I mentioned in my last post. Half an hour in and I'm having trouble with the white paint - it was blocked. I squeezed it and nothing came out, so I squeezed it as hard as I could. (It's hard to believe I'm in mostly top sets sometimes to be honest...) The lid flew off and the paint sprayed everywhere; on the top of my thigh, on the bottom of my jumper, on my face, in my hair, all over my hand, on my work and on Luke Gittins laptop. It was so embarrassing, and it looked so dodgy on my leg. Everyone laughed at me, although it was funny, so I don't think they were laughing at me much. Calum told me to control myself... The paint came off my face, Luke's laptop and my hand, but it sort of attained my trousers and top and it was in such a dodgy place! I think I've more or less finished the painting I was working on, so it's not all doom and gloom. Needless to say, I'm enjoying Art a lot more now.

Last lesson I had RE which meant a whole entire hour of sitting next to Meh. The paint was still there obviously, but I had hoped he wouldn't notice it. As soon as he came to sit in his seat next to me, he pointed at it and laughed. I pulled my 'not amused' face. He apologized and pretended to ignore me. We went through the RE exam, he had 52 out of 94 and I had 59 out of 94. We both had ridiculous answers though. For example, when asked to give two examples of how religious people react to God, Meh wrote (i) Pray and (ii) Celebrate, I wrote (i) Sacrifice things and (ii) Freak out at the all being, all knowing immortal. I got one mark out of four, he gone nothing. I won that round! Anyway, relentless teasing and patronizing resulted in me turning red two thirds of the way through the lesson. My personal best, I must add. He is so lovely. I sometimes just stare at him now. He's not even that nice looking, he's just so nice.

I can only think of five people that actually read this blog - Manny, Angus, Rhodri, Sam and Abi. Four out of five of those are boys, as you know, so I have to apologize about going on about boys. At least you get an insight into the female mind! xD