Great Understanding There... -.-

Yesterday night, just after we all sorted out the new dining room chairs (we now have two pale green ones and four deep pink ones to go with the colour scheme of the kitchen) and took the old ones out to The Sanctuary, Dad was telling me how pretty I was and I broke down crying. I was depressed and on the verge anyway, but when he focused everyone's attention on me, everyone being himself, Mother and Ashmlee Willie Winkie, then I just skydived off the edge. For the last few days, the urge to sink my nails into my cheeks and just rip my face off, making huge claw-like scars down both sides of my face, has been my constant companion. Y'know, one of those people that just tag along and you can't tell them to leave because then they stay with you but in a retched mood that you simply can't ignore? Yeah, well I mean companion in that sense. Anyway, I told Mother for no apparent reason, and a few moments later, Pa stormed in my bedroom and said, nastily, "Go downstairs, and convince your mother that you don't want to claw your face off and that you don't want to kill myself." So I went downstairs, sighed, and said "I don't want to claw my face off and I really don't want to kill myself." Hell, I'd never even mentioned suicide! Assumption or what? I only agree with suicide when it's people like Hitler who REALLY have no way out! Anyway, that sort of did my head in because it's like when I told Mother that I punched myself in the head before, she just cried and never mentioned it ever again. It's sort of the whole 'out of sight, out of mind' thing, but it's driving me crazy. I'm so frustrated. I told Mother about the Meh thing and she was nice about it, probably because it proves that I'm not a lesbian like Tess, but Pa was seriously not understanding one bit. He's all like, "Well it sounds to me like you're being unfaithful in your actions!" Ha! Like I have a chance to be unfaithful, it is Meh we're talking about. There's really no hope. Oh, and I found out I'm allergic to popcorn. I can now add this to my list of allergies, which now consists of two things: hospital plasters and popcorn. Woop! x